You may have heard that Sub It Club is 3 and we are celebrating! Today we are thrilled to have Jennifer Johnson-Blalock of Liza Dawson Associates here at the Sub It Club blog perusing your pitches! If you have not yet read our interview with Jennifer, please do go and read it. Jennifer shared a ton of insights that you’re sure to find helpful before pitching.
Pitch day is over but Jennifer left a ton of great feedback. You can learn a lot by reading through the comments! Jennifer had high hopes of being able to give everyone feedback and did all she could, but ran out of time. It looks like she got pretty far though. We had a lot of pitches! Jennifer will definitely read through the all pitches this week and make requests if any more pique her interest. Jennifer will be looking at pitches today between 10am and 6pm EST.She will be offering feedback and making requests on those that pique her interest!
Here are the rules:
Only pitch work in the genres that Jennifer represents:
- narrative and prescriptive nonfiction
- commercial and upmarket fiction ( especially thrillers/mysteries, women’s fiction)
- contemporary romance
- young adult
- middle grade
Pitch completed fiction or complete nonfiction proposals only.
Post your pitch in the comments section of this post using the following format:
- Title:
- Word count:
- Genre:
- Pitch: (100-words maximum)
- Excerpt: (The first 100-words of your novel. If it falls in the middle of your sentence, no worries, just finish your sentence out.)
If you get a request:
- In the Subject Line put: Sub It Club Pitch Day – YOUR TITLE
- Paste your pitch into the body of the email
- Attach the requested number of pages as a Word document (.doc)
- Send requested manuscripts to queryjennifer[at]lizadawson[dot]com
Yes, attach the pages! Jennifer says, “a lot of agents ask for pages attached because we read on various devices–a Kindle in my case.” So there you go!
If you have questions, I’ll be hanging around in our Sub It Club Submission Support Group and will answer asap. Here’s to some great pitches. Best of luck everyone!
P.S. When you’re done pitching and are patiently waiting for a reply, why not pop over and enter our autographed book giveaway for CHICKEN LILY, illustrated by Nina Victor Crittenden! It is so adorable.
Sub It Club 
Title: Frightmare
Word count : 51,000
Genre : MG Horror
Pitch :
Something’s possessed 13-year-old Zhen Yu, something that’s feeding off his body and turning ordinary folks into bloodthirsty murderers. It isn’t satisfied with making his dad burn their home down. It’s going to make his best friend kill his kid sister. To save the two people he loves most in the world, Zhen Yu’s going to find a way to destroy the entity inside him-even it means dying in the process.
Except:
Goosebumps broke out on thirteen-year-old Chua Zhen Yu’s bare arms and legs, and the fine hairs on the nape of his neck prickled. He walked past rows of single and double story houses jammed against one another separated by tiny gardens or cramped porches. They towered over him behind their metal gates, dark and silent, watching him make his way home. An occasional lighted window stared at him like a malevolent eye of a monstrous beast.
Zhen Yu shivered. He had lived all his life in Jalan Leban, but tonight it gave him the creeps.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t rep horror, but this seems legitimately creepy. Good luck with it!
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Thanks:)
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Title: Oh My Gosh I’m a Zombie
Word count: 20,000
Genre: Middle-grade commercial novel where fantasy meets horror
Pitch: A funny story about an orphan kitchen boy who discovers that he is a zombie brought back to life by a disgraced Grand Wizard. He is big and ugly, with green skin and warts on the end of his nose. One day a chance discovery leads him on a quest to find the Grand Wizard and discover why he is the way he is. Along the way he finds out he is a zombie, but not just any old zombie, a magical one. Unfortunately, he can’t control his magical power and gets himself in trouble, battling hobgoblins and skeleton warriors.
Excerpt: It was a typical summer afternoon in The Vale of Doom, cold, wet and miserable. The clock had reached four o’clock and a man had just been struck by lightning.
Tom Hefferman, known as Hef, had finished playing a very muddy game of rugby on the field. He was now making his way back to the servant’s quarters at Castle Doom. As he walked past the highborn boys he heard them whispering and snickering about him.
Hef was an orphan boy and worked as a servant in Castle Doom’s kitchens. He was big and ugly with mottled green skin and a misshapen jaw.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I also don’t rep horror, so this is a tough one for me, and I think you might find that your genre mixing might make it tough to find your commercial niche. I can see this appealing to boys, though, so good luck with it!
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Title: Damaged Goods
Word count: 71,000
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
Pitch:
Justin Marshall has caused trouble at home, at school, and with the law. When his father sends him to live with a grandmother he can’t remember, he soon realizes that the old woman suffers from dementia. Although he tries to keep his praying, cussing, Star Wars quoting, cat-loving grandmother at a distance, he begins to love her. Justin knows that if people in town discover Margaret’s impaired memory, he will be unable to stay with her. Keeping the secret becomes increasingly difficult, and he must decide whether to run away from the situation or continue taking care of his grandmother.
Excerpt:
Blue elastic waist pants cover my grandmother’s flat butt, and her flowered shirt screams Old Lady Special. She’s definitely a Wal-martian, even though I haven’t seen a Wally World since we left the interstate nearly an hour ago. That’s how far we are from civilization.
Wooden steps groan as I follow her up to the porch. I drop my suitcases and backpack
onto decaying, splintered boards. A scraggly plant has pushed its way through a crack but now droops with exhaustion near my feet.
When Dad told me I’d be living with his mother, I figured it would be a nice house.
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Thanks for the pitch! I have a soft spot for grandparent stories, and I would like to have a book with a male protagonist. I don’t see enough teen in here, though, with the entire focus seeming to be on the grandparent relationship.
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Title: Syd-ply Misunderstood
Word count: 59,000
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pitch: Sixteen-year-old Sydney Taylan has had it with cheaters. From her dad to her ex, there hasn’t been a man she could trust. Until skateboarder Kyle comes to town. The fact that he constantly seeks her company, that he loves the same things as her (music, reading, etc.), makes her want to fall in love. But her enemy flirts mercilessly with him, and then she sees him with another girl, making her second-guess his intentions. Sydney has to decide if she can risk losing her heart when the chances of this ending in disaster are so high she might never recover.
Excerpt: I knew I was a klutz, but some days were worse than others. Today was one of those days. My locker was stuck, and when I finally got it to open, it smacked me right in the face. Great.
The barrage of humiliation continued throughout the day, people constantly asking about the sizable welt that felt like it was taking over my face. When lunch finally came around, I was more than happy to eat and relax. After grabbing a burger with a side of fries from the lunch line, I headed over to our usual table near the windows.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t typically go for YA stories that are entirely romance, though, and this one in particular feels a bit genre confused. Your description of Sydney makes her seem far more jaded than a typical 16 year old. And I want to know a bit more about what makes her special.
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Title: IT’S NOT A GOOD TIME
Word Count: 72,000
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Pitch:
Katie Carson is backed into a corner. She wants to be more than just a wife and mother, but she’s been afraid to ask herself: if not a mother, then what?
When two damning pink lines appear on a pregnancy test, Katie’s life slips out of control. She was finished having kids. And with a fizzled out and strained marriage, recently she’d been wondering if she was finished with that too.
Katie must decide whether to sacrifice her search for life beyond the walls of her home, and resign to losing herself in motherhood or risk tearing her family apart.
First 100:
This is all my fault. Self-Sabotage is a word that comes up frequently in my therapy sessions. My doctor is convinced I don’t want to be happy. Because, she says, I have all the tools I need yet I can’t seem to use them.
What are you chasing, she asks me one day.
I’m not chasing anything, I say, I barely move.
Searching then, she responds, what are you searching for?
I look at my hands, they’re clasped in my lap, I’ve been wringing them so hard they turned white.
Usually an escape, I say, an escape from nothing.
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Thanks for the pitch! I like that you’re taking on this issue that must seem so familiar to many women. It feels a bit internal to me, though, and I tend to prefer women’s fiction that’s a little closer to where I’m at in life–which is totally subjective, so I do hope you find an agent who has the right vision for this.
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Thank you for this opportunity!
Title: With These Wings
Word Count: 77,000
Genre: YA Sci-Fi
Pitch:
Phoenyx was taken by the aliens that were supposed to save them. But she escaped. Changed, different, terrifying.
She looks like the aliens—beautiful, strong, and winged. And that’s why those she protects want her dead.
She doesn’t blame them.
When Cole, the boy whose arms she was ripped from the night she was taken, shows up at their compound with a new love, everything Phoenyx has been fighting for is turned on its’ head, and she has to figure out what side she’s really on and who she really is before she loses herself completely.
Never trust beautiful things.
First 100 words:
“Run!”
The desperate scream roused Cole from the exhausted stupor he’d been in for the last several minutes. He scrambled to stand before his eyes were even fully open. “Phoenyx!” He grabbed her wrist, but she was already moving, springing from sleep to her feet.
“Blake!” They both spun toward his sister, who somehow had managed to sleep through the chaos erupting from beyond the ally they thought would be safe. Blake stirred, her eyes fluttering, but Phoenyx had her by the hand, tugging her to her feet as they turned to escape.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I love the line “Never trust beautiful things,” but I’m not quite sure what’s happening here–why does she look like the aliens?
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Thank you for this opportunity!
Title: Unstoppable
Word count: 21,00
Genre: MG
Pitch:
Sabrina is eight going on twelve and navigating the world as only, an only-child with a deployed father can. The letters she writes, the emails she begs for, and the journal she loathes but keeps (at her mother’s insistence), all serve one purpose; to stay in touch with a father who isn’t there. But on the worst day of her life, Sabrina, in all her eight-year-old wisdom, takes her duty one step-further, hoping her mother will oblige.
Excerpt:
Dad,
I had to start over. Cannot is one word. It is not two words. Mom said I cannot email you. I have to write you a letter. Why cannot I use the computer? We have one you know. Letters are slow. Letters take long to write and it hurts my hand. Did you forget I have homework? Letters cannot travel fast. Is mom writing you letters? She misses you. I do not. When are you coming home?
Love Your Very Mad Daughter,
Sabrina
November 20, 2013
Dear Dad,
Why did you have to leave so soon?
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Thanks for the pitch! This is very relevant, and I think it has the potential to be emotionally compelling. I wish that it felt more multidimensional, though, and I’m afraid my taste in MG skews older.
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Title: Shatter Me With Hope
Word count: 78.000
Genre: Young Adult Suspense
Pitch: When 17-year-old Fiona was told she’d be going to Germany for an internship with Miles, rich snob and her worst nightmare, she knew it would be a disaster, but she wasn’t prepared for reality to split during their flight. One side lands safely in Berlin, the other crashes on a deserted island, but both are nothing but a nightmare. In Berlin the company disappeared as though it never existed, their passports and wallets stolen, all hope lost. Meanwhile on the island they realize that their plane never flew and find a pit filled with four dead teens inside the jungle.
Excerpt: We are going to die.
That was the first thought that shot through my mind. My second thought was that it might have only been a dream, but then the plane dipped down again, shaking and rattling. Panic shot through my body, fear through my veins. I gripped my armrests like my life depended on it. Maybe it did.
Movement to my left told me Miles was awake, too. I glanced over at him, saw his eyes widen with panic just like mine. A scream got stuck in my throat.
And then there was nothing but darkness.
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Thanks for the pitch! I like the survival angle, but I feel like plane crashes are a bit done. And I’m a little confused by what’s happening with the speculative angle here–my tastes tend towards realism. Good luck with it, though!
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Title: FALL TO PIECES
Word count: 87,000
Genre: YA Contemporary
Pitch:
On the football field, sixteen-year-old Jacob Wilson is an all-star working his way toward a Division I scholarship. But at home, he’s working to escape, counting the months until he’s free from his dad’s brutal attacks. Terrified that his football career will be ruined if the reality of the abuse he’s endured and his resulting depression become public, he’s managed to keep his secret, even from his girlfriend, Megan. When he shatters his leg playing the game he loves, he watches his dreams of a scholarship and a way out of small town Colorado disintegrate.
Excerpt:
I’m not here. Not really. This is just a dream, and when I wake up, everything’ll be okay. I kept reminding myself that none of this was real, but holy shit my leg hurt. No injury had ever felt like that before.
Doctors kept coming in and examining me with serious faces. They talked to Coach Thompson in low voices, and nurses kept giving me those fake smiles that are meant to calm little kids and sick people who are too out of it to know the difference. I knew things weren’t okay, but I wouldn’t allow myself to think about it.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m a football fan–could you send me the first 20 pages according to the above guidelines, please?
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Title: COLLIDING SKIES
Word Count: 89,000
Genre: YA Sci-fi
Pitch:
High school senior and space geek, Skye Reilly, has life as meticulously mapped out as her star chart. In one hand, an acceptance letter from her top physics school, and in the other, a new boyfriend. But when an alien spaceship lands, her perfectly planned life is hurled into a cataclysmic collision course. Because falling for an alluring Celeian is definitely not in her plans. Neither is meddling with the alien leaders’ secret plot to conquer Earth— or becoming a threat that must be eradicated. Now all is fair in love and intergalactic war.
First 100:
A perfect first date is supposed to end with a perfect first kiss. My first date with Taylor Manning ended with the beginning of the battle for the human race.
I’d been crushing on Taylor since the start of senior year. Sitting beside him on a picnic blanket under the moonlight with the nerves bouncing around my stomach like tiny rubber balls, the fate of humankind was the furthest thing from my mind.
“Did you enjoy the tour?” Taylor leaned in, gently pulling out a leaf that must have gotten caught in my hair.
“Yeah. This place is amazing.” I glanced at the sandstone Corinthian columns standing grandly in the meadow.
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Thanks for the pitch! I like how you’ve crossed romance and sci fi here, but unfortunately I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists.
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Title: The Real Hero
Word Count: 58,000
Genre: MG Mystery
Pitch: In 1944, Steve finally gets to prove that he is a real hero, like his brother who is fighting in Europe. German POW’s are stationed in town and strange things happen. Morse code flashes from the POW camp. The prisoner Dieter Zinzerdorf disguises his true motives behind deep-dimpled charms. Beatrice Brown, supposed town patriot, passes coded messages to Zinzerdorf. If Steve can expose their spy ring, he’ll gain heroic fame. But when his sister is taken hostage, Steve’s quest for glory turns deadly serious. If he doesn’t have what it takes to be a real hero, his sister will die.
Excerpt: Chapter 1–Metamorphosis
A real hero needed extraordinary powers, but so far I had zilch, zero, zip. I scowled at Mom and tugged my pants up. It would serve her right if everybody in church saw my underwear.
Mom shifted Junie on her hip and steered me into a pew. “Don’t give me that look, Steven James Abernathy. You know better than to wear your Superman belt to a funeral.”
I plopped down between Gordy and Eleanor. “I’ve told you a gazillion times, Mom, I don’t like Superman. This is Captain Asgardia’s belt and it’s called Megingjord.”
Mom had made me leave all my power at home.
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Thanks for the pitch! This is a wholly subjective preference, but I tend to steer clear of war stories. Plenty of agents feel differently, though, especially when it comes to WWII, so I wish you luck in finding the right fit!
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Title: SURVIVING SARIN
Word count: 58,000
Genre: YA Thriller
Pitch:
After the evacuation plane he was on crashes somewhere in the South Pacific, 16-year-old Dylan finds himself stranded on an island with four other teens. While the group searches for a way home, Dylan quietly struggles to suppress his homicidal urges. But when mercenaries arrive to kill them, Dylan’s bloodlust may be the key to the group’s survival…if he can focus it correctly.
First 100:
“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” —Paul Tournier
The ear-numbing blare of sirens fills the air. My hands clamp over my ears and my eyes slam shut. The pain in my head is excruciating. A loud metallic hum replaces the wail of the sirens and the floor vibrates. My eyes flutter open, focusing on the metal floor lined with white and yellow lines. It reminds me of a parking lot for miniature cars, except for the evenly spaced grip pads. A Galaxy. Why the hell am I on a C-5? Screw that, when did I get on the plane?
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Thanks for the pitch! I just said above that I felt like plane crashes were a bit done, but welcome to agent subjectivity–I really like the homicidal protagonist angle. Could you send me the first 20 pages according to the guidelines above, please?
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Title: TEMPLES OF TETLAN
Word count: 75,000
Genre: YA, Fantasy
Pitch:
INDIANA JONES meets GRACELING in TEMPLES of TETLAN, YA Fantasy inspired by Mayan mythology.
In the matriarchal society of Tetlan, The First Son Law dictates for every firstborn boy to be offered as a slave into the services of the Temples. When her best friend is taken as a slave, Palenke is determined to rescue him. Trap infested temples and treacherous jungle can’t stop her. She’s armed with rotten temper and poison darts.
Excerpt:
When the new Temple architect arrived in Bilda’s capital city of Balaam and settled three houses down from ours, I was barely six years old. Father was still alive. He stood behind me, as I rested my chin on the windowsill of our Bone Shop to see seven llamas float past. We watched old slaves unload the baskets with housewares and scrolls, and the smell of lengthy travels. Our new neighbor was a bearded man with a thin weathered face and a skinny son slightly above my age.
It didn’t take long for my twin brother Lokk to make friends with the boy, but to me Izel looked about as approachable as a porcupine.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I do love Graceling, though, so I wish you the best of luck!
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Title: QUANTUM
Word count: 65,000
Genre: YA SF
Pitch:
Seventeen-year-old student pilot, Willow, can be in two places at once, but she only keeps one set of memories.
Whenever she flies alone, she is instantly transported from Texas to Ireland. While there she meets a stunning, true gentleman, Liam. Every time she returns home, she has no memory of Liam or her time in Ireland.
Now she must learn how to navigate between her two realities without losing the new love in her life or her family back home. An accident proves that she may be too much like Shrodinger’s cat, and leaves Liam and Willow both questioning her survival.
Excerpt:
It was impossible not to smile on my way out to the plane which sat peacefully on the ramp, almost as if it had a personality all its own. The paint sparkled in the sun, and the glare on the windshield could be mistaken for a wink. The airplane looked ready to take to the skies. The wind was barely blowing, which was a bit of a rarity in west Texas this time of year, and the sky looked perfect. It was almost as if it was calling my name, and I couldn’t wait to get in the air.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. But I think there’s great potential for some Time Traveler’s Wife-esque romance here, though, and I wish you luck with it.
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Title: FORBIDDEN
Word count: 73,000
Genre: Young Adult
Pitch: Isaac’s little brother has been “Separated” by his cult. Isaac must locate him and get the little boy to safety before another grave appears by the forest’s edge.
Excerpt:
Something in me moved like a snowflake descending to the earth. Shivering. Fluttering. Excited, but sinking. As I sat on my bed, I hugged my white ritual covering, my surplice, tight to my chest.
Amos had his garment on; he was ready, unafraid. He knelt by his bed to pray.
Jeremiah regarded his surplice like it was a snake. “What if it’s me?” he whispered.
“It’s not you,” I said.
“But what if it is?”
Amos half turned his face. “Pray, if you’re so worried, Brothers.”
Fear crumpled Jeremiah’s eyebrows into a tight knot.
“No one ever gets Separated. We go out every year, and nothing ever happens.”
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Thanks for the pitch! I think this could be a bit more detailed–what does separated mean? What’s Isaac like as a person? I have a subjective predisposition against cults, so without more info, I don’t feel compelled to request.
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Title: Over the Edge
Word Count: 67,000
Genre: Mystery
Pitch:
When Julien Childers jumps to his death, he leaves behind a half-eaten breakfast abandoned at his log cabin nearby. This clue drives Detective Ethan Carnegie to start an investigation behind the backs of his partner and the police chief. When one of Julien’s colleagues is found dead from a fall, Ethan seeks out Julien’s former lover for help and she provides him with information on pending real estate development in Pine Falls. With a third death quickly following this revelation – from another fall – Ethan must discover who the killer is before another victim is pushed over the edge.
First 100:
Detective Ethan Carnegie finished reading the note and looked across at his partner. “Is this all they found?”
“Yeah.” Detective Darryll Todd nodded. He looked perturbed. “It was left right here on the ground in that envelope.”
“So he jumped from here?” Ethan stepped towards the edge of the cliff and looked down. Below was a drop of more than a hundred feet. At the bottom, he could barely make out a group of officers standing around something. It wasn’t hard to guess what. “And this is why?”
“Yeah.” Darryll’s response was a little quieter this time, his gruff voice barely audible against the gusting wind.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like the setup to a good, classic mystery–but I typically like my mysteries with a bit more of an edge. There’s certainly a market for straightforward mysteries, though, so I wish you luck.
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Title: RIDDLE OF THE TIMEKEEPER
Word count: 99,000
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Pitch: When time-bending witch Emerald Kipp’s only relative Aunt Nora vanishes, Emerald must venture into the dangerous 1980’s Magick World, tucked within the NYC alleyways and subway tunnels, to save her. Her only clue into her aunt’s disappearance comes from a message from the past—find The Timekeeper, solve the riddle.
As the mystery of the riddle begins to unravel, Emerald learns that more than Aunt Nora’s life is at stake if she can’t beat it. Armed with a book of magic, her broken Walkman, and her trusty lock pick set, Emerald sets out to solve the riddle before time runs out—and she, along with everyone she knows, is erased from history.
Excerpt:
It figured the cops would be there when Emerald Kipp emerged from The Smiths concert. They didn’t seem to be looking for her, at least not yet. No need to have a cow. She leaned against the wall outside The Beacon Theatre, blowing pink hair out of her face—one hand shoved deep in her pocket as she conjured a coin, then made it disappear, then conjured it again. A group of concertgoers streamed past her, and an electric shock coursed from her fingers to her toes, as eyes shot in her direction and the coin disappeared once more.
*Thank you for this opportunity! 🙂 *
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I do really like the 1980s NYC angle, though; this seems fun.
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Title: ZINGARI GIRL
Word count: 60,000
Genre:YA MAGICAL REALISM
Pitch: Seventeen-year-old Zingari artist Faith sketches inanimate objects to life, something most Zingari can’t do. They can enhance objects not create new ones. But when she draws her dead little brother alive she lands on the radar of a secret society bent on using her abilities for their own evil purposes. They want her to bring back political prisoners they’ve tortured to death, heads of state, anyone they choose. If she refuses her family dies. But if she agrees, she’ll be the one imprisoned for the rest of her life.
Excerpt: The best time to see it is at night. Reflected against the dark night sky dotted with stars, it shines through. A faint, silvery web. The filare. As faint as a whisper, a soft whoosh of breath caresses my cheek and I open my eyes to the glorious vision. The Strands pulse with life, each one holds a hundred thousand heartbeats. More. I run a hand along one and stop. There, in the center hidden in between two others I see a black one. It’s spreading down the gossamer silk in an insidious way, infecting the ones near it.
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Thanks for the pitch! This is on the outskirts of what I represent, since I generally stick to realism. But I’m intrigued by the concept and the thriller-ish crossover. Could you send 20 pages according to the guidelines above, please?
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Title: Cutting to the Chase
Word Count: 51,000
Genre: Contemporary YA
Pitch:
If Lizzy could scream she would, but she keeps things bottled up inside. And, when she can’t take the pressure anymore, she reaches for the razorblades.
Until Michael. He grew up in a different world than Lizzy, and has seen harder times. When her parents fall apart, he shows her that she doesn’t need to shatter too. But she does. As she crumbles, she makes one bad choice after another, losing the few friends she has left, including Michael. Alienated, Lizzy must decide whether to face the mess she has created, or screw them all and escape into the pain.
Excerpt:
Lizzy lay the steel against her leg, its smooth metal a cool caress. The slight scrape as it dragged across her skin sent a chill down her spine and she shivered, anticipating. Spreading her legs wider, she allowed her hand to slip to her inner thigh, inhaling deeply before edging the corner of the razor into the soft flesh.
She held her breath, riveted, waiting. The first crimson drop hit the water—the silent splash echoing in the small room, shouting in her mind—then it dissipated into watery nothingness, becoming whispers of agony. She exhaled slowly, drawing the blade in a straight path, fascinated as always by the gentle folding away of skin. Like pulling the strip on a Babybel.
(Thank you for providing this opportunity!)
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Thanks for the pitch! I think this is dealing with a very important issue, but it’s a little too issue driven for me. I know plenty of agents feel differently, though; good luck!
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Title: SOCIOPOP
Word Count: 62,000
Genre: Contemporary Young Adult
Pitch: ‘Heathers’ meets the Stanford Prison Experiment when gay homeschooled teen, Gabe Gordon, returns to high school for senior year. Armed with his wit and a faux fur shrug David Bowie would covet, Gabe sets out to befriend a group of cleverer-than-thou girls. When the members of this cohesive band of misfit toys become victims of various levels of harassment, they gird their loins and turn an abandoned dog shelter into a makeshift prison for perverts and creeps. What the girls do not see is the puppeteer behind it all, pulling their strings, for the sake of his shiny future.
Excerpt: Lurking in the precise spot where the hallway poured into a living room filled with rejected furniture and relics from the 80’s and 90’s, Gabe Gordon shifted. His arms cradled pieces of technology that were going to help ensnare his perfect future and one of those pieces was digging into his arm uncomfortably. He refused to wait another second.
“Mom. Dad…” He shook his head. “I mean, Leah. Remy. I want to go to high school.” Gabe had been practicing that sentence, right down to the flub where he ‘accidentally’ referred to his parents by their socially accepted titles, for weeks.
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Thanks for the pitch! You had me at Heathers and cinched it with Bowie. Could you send the first 50 pages according to the above guidelines, please?
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I had thought about joining Sub It Club before, but the chance to pitch to Jennifer was the clincher and I’ve joined today. My women’s fiction book ‘Jake’s Ghost’ is best described as what happens if Iain Banks’ ‘The Crow Road’ had a big dollop of Jilly Cooper/ Jackie Collins glamour, LBGT characters and a feminist twist…
Title: Jake’s Ghost
Word count: 120,000
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Pitch: Stand up comedian Jake Goodman is witty, attractive and dead. For the women in his life, it’s no laughing matter. Saffron, Jake’s secret daughter, was his number one fan. When her mother reveals the truth, Saffron is revolted and hurt that she is not who she thought she was. She is determined to uncover Jake’s secrets, find her family and secure their inheritance. What haunted Jake? As she persuades each woman to speak out – and pieces together Jake’s true history – Saffron starts to wonder if it would have been better to let the truth die with him.
Excerpt: Saffron was home. Zoë could tell from the heap of washing and the discarded suitcase on the kitchen floor. A row was now inevitable.
“Saffron?” No reply.
“Saffsaff?” Nothing.
Zoë dumped her two drenched hessian shopping bags onto the work surface, and took a soothing deep breath. She hung her wet jacket on the back of a chair. Grabbing a tea towel from its hook by the sink, she mopped up the muddy footprints she had left across the flagstones. Ridiculous really, but finding the backdoor unlocked had panicked her. She had rushed in unsure what to expect.
Bracken the red setter dozed in a basket by the radiator, wagging her curly tail in a half-hearted greeting.
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Thanks for the pitch! You definitely know what I like with the feminist approach, and I also really appreciate the father/daughter angle here. I just don’t get a strong enough sense of the stakes here, though; I don’t feel enough driving Saffron forward to want to know more.
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Thank you for this opportunity!
Title: UNTIL THE END
Word count: 94,000
Genre: Women’s fiction (with light sci-fi element)
Pitch:
Lilia Franklin’s husband and son are on the shuttle to Mars, but she’s given up her seat to save an abandoned child. Now she must brave an apocalyptic Midwest to find another launch – before the asteroid hits.
Lilia finds hope when she discovers a long-lost friend and law-breaking cousin are still on Earth. Together, they set out on a treacherous journey across Minnesota and South Dakota to reach one last shuttle launch. But along the way, they are swept into a battle against a sinister group, and Lilia must find her courage if she wants to see her family again.
Excerpt:
I wasn’t planning to deceive him. Not after eight years of marriage. Not on his last day on Earth. I didn’t even know I was going to do it until it happened. It was as if the decision wasn’t my own, as if it had been made for me eons ago, set in motion by all of these events tumbling beyond my control.
To clarify, I didn’t lie to my husband. But I certainly sucked him into my deception – my enormous, life-altering deception. And there was nothing he could do about it once it was spoken.
Conveniently, he was already strapped into his seat, positioned protectively next to our little boy, on the way to the shuttle that was destined to remove us from this world.
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Thanks for the pitch! I do see that the sci fi element is sort of incidental to the main story here, but I think the post-apocalyptic element still moves it a bit out of my comfort zone. I tend to stick to realistic fiction, but several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) rep SFF; you might check out their wishlists.
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Thank you!
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Title: BLAGGARD’S (FUTURE INFAMY ASSURED)
Word Count: 41,000 words
Genre: MG Comedy Adventure
Pitch: Blaggard’s School for Tomorrow’s Tyrants has a 100% success record. But that was before Milly Dillane and Charlie Partridge arrived there. How are two defiantly honest kids going to survive in the world’s best school for evil geniuses?
Excerpt:
PROLOGUE
Milly Dillane nibbled morosely on the end of her pen as she digested her school report.
BLAGGARD’S SCHOOL FOR TOMORROW’S TYRANTS
(Future Infamy Assured)
BETRAYAL F
Milly finished her first term as hopeless at Beginner’s Betrayal as she was on her first day. She has yet to master even the most basic aspects of this essential subject. This is hard for me to write, but I must tell you that she is RELIABLE!
COMPUTER HACKING/INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY E
I’m being kind to Milly by giving her an E. I’m new to the school and haven’t actually taught her yet, so I’ve only got my predecessor’s notes to go on and they don’t make pretty reading. However, she did me a smallish favour recently, so I’m being nice. It won’t happen again.
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Is this working?
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like it could be a lot of fun, but my MG tastes are currently running more serious. And I’d love to learn how they landed at this school in the pitch. Best of luck with this!
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Title: THE FIRST IDOL
Word Count: 77,000
Genre: YA Fantasy/Alt-History
Pitch:
Sixteen year-old Johnny Trekken wasn’t an alchemist, but when a simple pocket watch erupts in his defense, his fate is sealed. Realizing that he holds the legendary First Idol, Johnny becomes a target of the terrifying Crimson Duchess and her power-hungry Capital benefactors. They’ll either take the watch or Johnny’s head!
Unable to evade his pursuers even with the help of airship pirates, Johnny relies on the First Idol to save him. But the watch has a horrible secret: it’s powered by gods bound to the clockwork, and Johnny soon learns that their aid comes at a high price.
Excerpt:
In the center of Trekken Square—in a city known widely as the Capital of the World, but much more commonly as just the Capital—sat a simple stone obelisk, rectangular with a brass plaque atop. A woman’s fingers grazed the imprinted memorial, clearing the dust from the often neglected pillar. She smeared her dirtied hand across the front of her already filthy dress.
“In memory of Jonathan ‘The Trigger’ Trekken, Father of Invention and Progenitor of the Age of Wonders,” the woman, Catherine, read aloud. Her accent was heavy, her words as muddied as her appearance. After reflecting on the monument, she chuckled and turned to her companions.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. Also I’m curious about how alt-history plays in here, since I don’t see the real history elements. But I wish you all the luck with this.
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Title: STATUS: POSITIVE
Word Count: 89k
Genre: Young Adult, Sci-Fi/LGBT
100-word pitch:
17-year-old Blue Steven lives on a continent where homosexuality is punished by lifelong segregation. Twelve years ago, she and her dads were evacuated from their neighborhood then marked with light-sensitive tattoos as Positive (gay) and Negative (straight). Now, she’s dedicated herself to maintaining the safety of her LGBT Compound. When the guards suddenly invade, she finds herself juggling stray bullets, raids, and angry mobs. Nothing she can’t handle. However, when Blue’s best friend is nearly beaten to death for being bisexual, she discovers everything she knew about Segregation- and her past- to be a lie.
Excerpt:
I was born to a woman who never loved me. I’ve pictured her many times, stumbling into the Children’s Bank with the residue of my afterbirth still clinging to her leg. I can ignore how she turned me over only hours after I was born. It’s the fact that she didn’t bother to give me a name which made me resentful. But no child with big blue eyes stays an orphan forever. Baby 214 was adopted within days. My life was forever changed by my new parents and the name they gave me; Blue Stevens. For five years, we lived happily in our little green house in the Pink District.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I like the politics and the first 100 words, though; I definitely think this has promise!
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Title: THE DEVIL’S BOX
Word Count: 63,000
Genre: YA Thriller
Pitch:
Seventeen-year-old Jersey McKenna is many things- high school senior, smart, pretty, orphan and most importantly, accomplished serial killer.
The only survivor of a bloody home invasion, she believes she was spared for one purpose; to rid the world of bad people, however, her stash of death inducing drugs is dwindling and she’s not ready to stop.
When a hit goes wrong and a deal for a new stash of drugs presents itself she struggles to stay alive and remain one step ahead of the law while choosing between love and the life she should have had or the world she was violently reborn into.
Excerpt:
Stewart Archer had been in the throes of violent, full-body convulsions for almost five minutes now. Jersey McKenna kept a close eye on her watch. Five minutes sure didn’t seem long when she was making out with Tommy Marker in the closet her freshman year after losing a dare. Five minutes felt like an eternity now as Archer’s blood cells were being deprived of precious life-giving oxygen. She was watching him literally suffocate from the inside out.
The dry flaky parts of his elbows were bloodied from the force of his thrashing against the unforgiving floor. His jaw was clenched tight.
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Thanks for the pitch! I really love dark protagonists, but I’m not connecting to the drug angle here. I’m sure another agent will feel differently, though; good luck!
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Title: A LIFETIME OF MEN
Word Count: 95,000
Genre: Upmarket Women’s Fiction
Pitch: Tolan finds a document on her mother’s computer that suggests her mother has been lying: her father isn’t dead after all. She’s still reeling when her best friend, Tori, kisses her. Tolan loves Tori, but she’s not sure she’s ready to call herself a lesbian. Almost overnight, everything Tolan thought she knew about herself and her family has changed, and Tolan has to decide whether she’s willing to risk losing those closest to her in order to pursue the truth.
Excerpt:
Tolan’s been sitting at her mother’s computer long enough that the fat blocks of sunlight on the carpet have withered to emaciated fingers. She just needs to print her paper, but the essay is fifteen pages long and their printer secondhand slow. Boredom sends her eyes wandering over the photos that cover the walls of her mother’s study, pictures of Tolan and her mother, mostly, and some of Tolan with her best friend, Tori. From time to time, Tolan likes to pretend that she wants her mother to take them down so that other people won’t see them, but her mother never does and never will, because she knows that Tolan not-so-secretly loves them, even if she’s being silly and making faces in most of them.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think this might be a little quiet for my tastes, but I like what I see. Could you send the first 20 pages according to the above guidelines?
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Title: Children of Dust
Word Count: 50,000 words
Genre: Young Teen Horror/Thriller
Pitch: The curse of the Children of Dust is older than time, and it’s still claiming victims. Now it’s been unleashed on 16 year old Ashleigh Brand. Can Ash and her twin sister Ruby avert the curse before it’s too late?
Excerpt:
PROLOGUE
SHADOWLANDS
Christ! Oh Christ, what’s happening?
I’m choking. Choking on dryness.
The creature. The creature’s hands. Cold. Invading.
Stealing my moisture. Stealing my mind.
I’m shrivelling. Shrinking. Crumbling.
NO! I am Joe Tringham. I am 15. I am a human being.
I am Joe.
I am… I am…
Am I …
…disintegrating? My hand. It’s dissolving. Nails, fingers gone. Skin shrinking, bones growing, blackening. Not my hand. Not my dust. Whirling dust. Swirling dustpool.
Memories vaporise. I am … No! Stop. Please. Plea- I am… Joe?
…ALLIE! Allie are you here? Are you doing this? Can’t see you. Can’t see. Can’t… Stop! Please. It’s me! I’m Joe. I’m…
shrivelling. Shrivelling flesh. Dust. Cobwebs and dust. Darkness rushing. Falling now. Falling into earth.
REMEMBER! Am I… Allie?
Moon!
Am I Moon?
Dust settles. Blackness grabs. Wrapped in shadows.
Home? Am I home?
Home…
Waiting.
Waiting in shadows. Watching. Watching humans. Wanting humans.
Stealing close at night. Fingers stretching to touch humans. Their scalding warmth.
Waiting for their sleep. Creeping closer, upwards through earth. Grabbing and consuming.
Prey.
Shadows are safety. Darkness is home. Dust is home. Ashes and dust.
Moon.
I am Moon.
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Checking…
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…
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Thanks for the pitch! Unfortunately, I don’t represent horror–I just don’t read enough of it to be a strong advocate. Good luck to you, though.
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(I’ve completed a substantial re-write since I queried you with this.)
Title: VANISHED
Word Count: 88,000
Genre: YA Thriller
Pitch:
When Raj and Sasha’s jewel-thief father dies, he leaves behind a list of twelve gemstones. Raj vows to complete the heists, but when he and Sasha break into an apartment, the sapphire is gone, and the owner lies in a pool of blood. They’ve been set up.
They escape, but detectives question a girl who looks exactly like Sasha. In a case of mistaken identity, Sasha is horrified to find her twin accused of the heist.
Raj is determined to find the real thief before the only person he has left in the world turns herself in for a crime she didn’t commit.
Excerpt:
The day after my father’s funeral, I discovered a list of twelve names stuck in an Agatha Christie paperback in the bottom drawer of his desk. The wrinkled piece of stationary from a hotel in Zurich looked like it had been folded and unfolded a million times. Papa had crossed off ten names with red ink. A few Americans, a Saudi sheik, and a bunch of Europeans, including an English ambassador. Next to each name, he gave a description of a gemstone. I recognized the emerald bracelet my sister and I helped him nick from a Texas billionaire.
The last two names had been circled instead of crossed out.
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Thanks for the pitch! I like the twin angle, but I prefer thrillers that are a bit more psychological in nature. Best of luck to you, though.
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Title: The light we left behind
Word count : 94,000
Genre : YA/Paranormal
Pitch :
They say you see your whole life pass before your eyes when you’re about to die. But all Liz could think about was how she wasn’t going to have a future anymore. That until she wakes up in a new world. This place offers a second chance if you’re to find what you need. If you do, you’ll come back to life, if you don’t, you’ll be gone forever. Now she’ll have to be braver than she ever was, and face the dangers of this world; monsters that want to kill what’s left of her soul.
Excerpt:
Everything that I am, and everything that I was, is slowly fading.
My memories are leaving me faster than I can create new ones, better ones. Although in this place, that would be more than impossible. It would be unreachable.
All that I have now is the irony of dying twice at the hands of a monster. At least this one I can see the horrid inside shown by its decrepit exterior, unlike the one before him. That nameless man was just a regular face hiding a very sick soul. This one, this one is not exactly a man, but a human-like creature.
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Thanks for the pitch! After-life questions are always interesting, but I’m afraid I don’t rep paranormal–pretty grounded in the realistic world. Best of luck in your search for representation, though.
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Title: THE DISAPPEARANCE OF SLOANE STEVENS
Word count: 84,000
Genre: YA Contemporary
Pitch:
After years in witness protection, seventeen-year-old Sloane Stevens’ wish is coming true: she’s getting released. Someone confessed to the murder she witnessed and as soon as she graduates, she’ll be Sloane for good. But when she runs into Jason, her old best friend, she has a choice: inform the Marshals and risk remaining in protection, or stay quiet and risk being found by mobsters who, despite what the Marshals say, might still want her silenced.
Excerpt:
Out of all the names I’d had in the last seven years, I liked this one the best: Sloane Stevens. It looked right, printed there at the top of my new class schedule. Good thing too, since it was the last one I was ever going to have.
“There’s just one more thing I have for you and you’re all set,” the secretary said. She was a little hard to hear over the buzz of voices coming from the hall on the other side of the glass wall behind me and the incessant ringing of phones inside the front office.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think you’ve set up an interesting conflict with lots of opportunity for action. I lean towards thrillers that are a bit more psychological, though. But I wish you all the best with this.
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Title: HAMLETTE
Word Count: 89,000
Genre: YA fantasy retelling
Pitch:
Set in a world reminiscent of WWI Europe but with an invisible energy force that can be manipulated by a second-class race, HAMLETTE is a reimagining of Shakespeare blended with elements of STAR WARS and DOWNTON ABBEY. Seventeen-year-old Hamlette’s encounter with her mother’s spirit shatters her with the knowledge her aunt is the murderer, but almost as worse, the ghostly experience leaves her suddenly able to manipulate the energy force like the Loders, who, as a subordinate race, are forbidden to rule. As her kingdom teeters closer to war, Hamlette plays a deadly cat-and-mouse game with her aunt to finally answer the ghost’s demand for revenge — but she doesn’t know that the ghost is a fake.
Excerpt:
It is peaceful inside the labyrinth.
Thick yew-tree shrubs reach high on either side, shielding me from the boisterous laughter and chatter of the hundreds of guests swarming the palace grounds. My face throbs from the smiles I’ve had to wear. Finally I can drop the pretense of being a perfect princess.
Footsteps crunch over the gravel path. It must be Laertes. He’s the only one who knows I’d take refuge in the labyrinth. It’s a sinister place that lets in very little sunlight. When we were younger, Laertes and I were forbidden to enter, but we used to still sneak away.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t rep SFF, but this was so intriguing that I ran it past my fellow agent at LDA, Caitie Flum, and she’d love to see 50 pages. If you could email her your pitch in the body of the email with the pages attached as a Word doc to querycaitie[at]lizadawsonassociates[dot]com, she’d appreciate it! I know it’s a bit unorthodox, but I figure a request is always a good thing. 🙂
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Oooh yes, thank you!! 😀
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Title: THE WILDCATS
Word count: 25,000
Genre: MG Contemporary
Pitch:
Ten-year-old Hailey is the star center forward of the Wildcats soccer team until Alex moves to town. Suddenly, Hailey finds herself as left center forward—and no longer the best player on the team. When Hailey’s antics to save her spot injure Alex, though, the whole team turns on Hailey, even her best friend Grace. Now Hailey has to decide if keeping her starring role is worth losing her team.
Told from the perspectives of Hailey, Grace, and Alex, THE WILDCATS has lots of diversity and can stand alone or would work as the start of a series.
Excerpt:
Hailey tore down the field, soccer ball bouncing in front of her. Her cleats made divots in the soft grass and threw mud behind her as she ran.
Ebi raced toward Hailey, challenging her for the ball.
“Not this time,” Hailey said. She faked right and went left. Ebi fell for it. Hailey smiled and kept charging at that goal like a freight train.
Next up was Jessie, the last defender.
Grace called to Hailey, giving her support. She was open, but there was no way Hailey was giving up this ball.
Hailey slowed, waiting for Jessie to come at her.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like fun, but I’m currently looking for MG that skews a bit older. Good luck with this, though.
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Title: By Any Other Name
Word count: 109,000
Genre: Women’s Thriller
Pitch: What better place to hide her than among the dead? At least that’s what the Witness Protection Program thought when they placed their hunted, Dr. Quinn-like scientist Sarah Franklin in a job at a cemetery, far from the scene of the crime she witnessed. Under the watchful eye of an angry, enigmatic modern-day Deputy U.S. Marshal, Sarah finds the strength to build a new life for herself, regardless of the consequences, until one day, she comes face to face with the criminals who destroyed her life the first time. Still, Sarah won’t let herself live by any other name again.
Excerpt: The blood smelled like a collection of old batteries. Growing up, my grandmother had an entire dresser drawer full of such batteries. She kept them in case of an emergency, she’d said, yet I couldn’t imagine she’d ever anticipated a crisis worse than this. Blood was everywhere, flowing from my friend’s neck, as she lay dying on her kitchen floor. Some had already spattered, instantaneously flinging itself wide, sticking to the cabinets, baseboards and walls. Soon, it would only be evidence of the life coming to an end in front of me.
She watched me: whether or not she was surprised to see me, I didn’t know.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m a little hesitant about the Witness Protection Program angle, but your opening words are fantastic. Could you send the first 20 pages according to the guidelines above, please?
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Title: GATHOS
Word count: 73,000 words
Genre: Young Adult Science Fiction
Pitch:
Sixteen-year-old Nate is dying.
Nate’s designer blood is worth a fortune, but he lives with a gang of tech scavengers, hiding from the ruthless scientists who created him — and want him back.
Nate lets the boy he secretly loves believe that he’s an addict to protect him from the truth: There’s a bounty on his head, and the illegal drug he relies on is running out.
In SHIP BREAKER meets a gay OLIVER TWIST, Nate must choose between bartering his blood to terrorists to stay alive, or giving his life to save the misfit gang he loves.
Excerpt:
Nate’s stomach rumbled at the smell of street sausage from a food stall. He could use a couple of credits to snag one, but most street meat in the Withers was sludge-rat guts and gravel. He’d eat later, once he’d sold the gang’s haul.
He climbed a rusted staircase to the nearest abandoned rail station. The railway led straight to the port, following the hooked curve of the island.
Gathos City trains didn’t stop at the derelict stations in the Withers. They sped by with a steady rhythm, coughing exhaust and raining dust onto the street thirty feet below.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. Your comp titles are great, though; good luck!
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Thanks for reading!
Title: CHASING HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Word count: 77,000
Genre: Contemporary Women’s Fiction
Pitch:
Jilted at the altar by her Prince Charming, Derek, hedge fund princess Marina must chase down her HEA and win back her fiancé or risk losing her tiara to another.
With her friends Elle and Bee, Marina devises Operation Replacement Prince to make Derek jealous. The catch? A deal with Daddy: one date with his protégé, Ryan, for a spot back on payroll. Then she meets Will, a perfect match–theoretically.
As her quest for a fairy tale ending spirals, she discovers her Prince isn’t all that and getting to HEA is more complicated than just kissing a few frogs.
Excerpt:
I began dreaming of my Happily Ever After when I was five. I started a wedding scrapbook at age seven. By nine, I’d said ‘I do’ to at least ten unwitting grooms. Now, fourteen years later, my wedding day better be perfect with a capital ‘P’ or heads would roll.
“Where’s my tiara?” I harsh-screeched through pursed lips as my make-up artist dotted them with nude gloss.
“Right here, Marina, relax.” Bee, my best friend and maid of honor, pressed the sparkling crown into my hands. We’d met at grief summer camp and been like sisters ever since.
“Ooh, it’s gorgeous!”
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems fun, but I tend to like my commercial women’s fiction with a bit more of an edge. I’d like to see your protagonist have a bit more depth, too–I’m sure she develops it, but I’d need to root for her right from the start.
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Title: Quest for a Pop Star
Word count: 80,000
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Pitch:
Hailey Becker didn’t expect to get into Quest for a PopStar, she just wanted to sing again. But she does get in, by a landslide. Except when the head judge approaches her, offering her the winner’s place on one condition—she sleeps with him—she can’t accept. So, she’s eliminated. But another judge, her mother’s rocker heart throb, witnesses her refusal, and lets her in on a secret: He wants to expose the behind the scenes scandal so he can get out, and he wants her to help him.
Excerpt:
My knees quiver as the commercial blares overhead. To try to stop my knees, I pin my hands between them. I hum my song over and over, hoping I won’t freeze and forget the words. All around me people sing, the noise growing louder and louder. I don’t want to add to the chaos. I’m not even sure if I’ll stay for my own audition. In high school I’d been excellent, but this is something else entirely.
People bustle around me, filling the massive backstage room and shuffling between plastic chairs. Even with the air conditioning, hairspray thickens the air, sickly sweet scented with all the combinations of brands mixing together.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like it has the potential to be a lot of fun, but for a contemporary romance, I’m just not feeling the love connection from your pitch. I assume the rocker will become the love interest, but why? I want to be able to start to see the relationship right away.
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Title: A Case for Stella-Martin
Word count: 81,000
Genre: Magical Realism
Pitch:
Fifty-year-old Reginald Farmer not only killed a policeman to save an innocent woman’s life, but he foresaw her death and spent weeks trying to prevent it.
Reginald’s proof is in his journals, where he chronicles the foreseen deaths of those he meets and describes how he saved them. One of the people he saved is his attorney, Stella-Martin Carradine. She’s the only one who believes his story.
But with the crime scene pointing to Reginald’s guilt, he and Stella-Martin must convince the court of his clairvoyance and innocence before the jury sentences him to an unjust death.
Excerpt:
I had to get the knife before another prisoner found it.
I had traded cafeteria food for shampoo, used the shampoo to bribe a young man for Tastykakes. Then, I gave those snacks to the kitchen cleaner, Hakeem, for him to give me the sharpest knife he could find. I worked my butt off to get that weapon, so I’ll be damned if someone takes it before I get to it.
After dinner, I walked in step with the other prisoners—a line of orange jumpsuits—as we followed the officers out of the dining hall and through the hallways.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like an interesting story, but my taste runs more towards realism. A wholly subjective preference; I hope you find the right agent to champion you.
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TITLE: THE EVASION THEORY
WORD COUNT: 57,000
GENRE: YA CONTEMPORARY
Pitch:
The moment sixteen-year-old kickboxer Lani steps onto the hot Florida sand after a 2700 mile road-trip-turned-relocation—thanks to her bipolar dad—Lani knows it’ll take more than a handful of stolen Xanax to calm her nerves.
Then Lani meets Casey, a black, pink-haired, surfer girl. She’s the answer to Lani’s anxiety and her brother’s heart. Casey becomes the BFF Lani’s always wanted. But when the town bully slings racial slurs at Casey and Lani’s brother because they’re dating Lani takes a stand resulting in a physical attack on her. And the person who comes to her aid is the one she’d least expect—Dad.
First 100:
Jab. Jab. Breathe.
Front kick. Uppercut, repeat.
Sidekick. Elbow strike. Duck and swipe.
Breathe.
My opponent falls to the ground with a thud. I’m not surprised. Unfortunately, Brad busted my lip before I could knock him down. Blood trickles down my chin; secretly, I love it. Little drops of life splatter on the padded blue floor beneath me and every plop makes my stomach tighten in happiness. Superheroes got nothing on me—then again, they probably don’t fill with the exhilaration I do when my opponents drop.
There’s one who does, though; he and I have the same burning drive. Just like dad.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m intrigued by the diversity and strong female protagonist. Could you please send the first 20 pages according to the guidelines above?
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Title: CONCESSIONS OF A GYM MOM
Word count: 105,000
Genre: Women’s fiction (more friend than love)
Pitch: Shannon wants no part of the hyper-competitive world of modern parenting, but lands in its bizarre epicenter when her daughter joins a gymnastics team. Suddenly, Shannon finds herself in a strange new land where parents delight in the injuries of others and sabotage seven year olds’ dreams, because – let’s face it – everyone is the competition. But as Shannon bushwhacks her way through the Gym Mom arena, she discovers that there is more to these women than venom and velour jumpsuits, and realizes that she is not as innocent of competitive parenting crimes as she would like to believe.
Excerpt: It is hard to pinpoint the exact moment when I lost my way. One day, I simply found myself in a boiler room with six grown women, six women who, over the course of the previous year, had taught me that there actually was more to fear than fear itself and that it was often wearing a blonde wedge cut. Each woman in that boiler room was covered head to toe in baby blue velour and plotting to (1) trigger the fire alarm, and (2) blame it on the group’s most recent pariah, a woman who had worn black to our daughters’ home gymnastics meet and brought the wrong casserole.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m intrigued by this because I love the world of competitive gymnastics and the friendship focus here, but the stakes just don’t feel high enough particularly for a word count over 100k. What does Shannon want? What are the consequences? I want it to feel a bit bigger.
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Title: The Elementalist
Word count: 109,000
Genre: YA Fantasy Romance
Pitch:
Karina has no idea how she’s managed to piss off fate. When a magical outburst uncovers her abilities, the entire human region demands her exile. Karina is branded a monster and shipped to where the other freaks reside.
The King, who rules with a bloody iron fist, is eager to forge her growing powers into the ultimate weapon. Yet, her heart pulls her to a weather-wielding Sergeant. Once labeled as a threat, along with rebel allies, Karina will need to control her volatile elements and keep her sharp tongue in check to stand a chance of finally ending his reign.
Excerpt:
These bastards led me right into a viper nest. There’s so many, hundreds maybe. The rioters and their signs morph into one bloodthirsty beast and for a second I think I might still be asleep. My hands come up to rub the foggy sheen from my eyes and the metal cuffs scrape at the raw skin over my wrist bone. It’s proof this isn’t another nightmare.
Seeing me awake, the rioters up their efforts and they jab their signs towards the car like if they can impale me with the words: Creature of Hell, Demon’s deserve death, oh, here’s a favorite, ‘Filthy Vincam Spy’.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I think this needs to be a bit more specific, though–what are her abilities, what is the world?
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Title: LEDGER DEMAIN AND THE AWESOME UMBRELLA
Word count: 74,000
Genre: Younger YA, near-future SF
Pitch:
Twelve-year old Ledger Demain was planning a pleasant summer with friends—that is, until his eccentric grandfather arrived with tales of a new invention to battle Climate Change and conspiracies against him that almost got him killed. Now Ledger has to go to Camp Eureka, an Inventor’s Camp for Kids, to hide out with his granddad and kid sister, Savvy. After eluding bad guys in his granddad’s flying RV, being captured by Little People, fighting a wild grizzly and adopting a four-legged robot with a display screen for a head, they finally arrive at camp—where the real headaches start.
Excerpt:
Ledger never wanted to be an inventor like his klutzy dad, no way. Especially today, after the huge explosion.
It all started right after Ledger stretched out on his bed with his head at the wrong end, his stocking feet on his pillow— the best way to hang out on a rainy Saturday morning. He was just lying there, thinking about the meaning of life and wondering if his sister had left any yogurt in the fridge, when— KA-BLOOEY!
It wasn’t like an exploding microwave or barbeque grill. It sounded more like an Airbus A380 slamming into the side of the house.
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Thanks for the pitch! With a 12 year old protagonist, you’re definitely in MG (and these opening words read young as well), but your word count is a bit long for that. All things for you to think about, but additionally, I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists.
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Title: Blue Harmony
Word Count: 65,000
Genre: Contemporary Romance
His piercing baby blues give her quaky knees, but after losing her job and discovering her husband in bed with her best friend, Mandy wonders if she’s ready, or willing, to gamble on a new love. Catching the eye of freshly-single guitarist Nick is surely great for her ego. Sparks fly both in bed and out. After she sees her ex with her former friend, she seethes upon learning their dirty little secret. Mandy courageously confronts her demons to forgive and forget, except, she’s realizing Nick might not be able to do the same.
First 100 words:
cherry-cherry-cherry I squint, staring in disbelief at the center pay line. Playing slots usually propels me into a pleasant trance except that I’ve been punching the square Spin Reels button on this damn machine for about ten minutes when the shrills of jingly, mechanical bells break the monotony. I’ve just hit it big on my Max Bet spin. Holy cowza! I actually won some serious money! I whip my head around to look for my friend, who sees me and rushes over. Together, we scream. I’m going to take this as a sign that my luck will be changing this year.
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Thanks for the pitch! I like the betrayal angle here, but I need to be really blown away with contemporary romance right now, and the hook here just doesn’t feel strong enough. And I want to know more about Mandy; what makes her special/unique?
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Title: The Blood Pirate
Word count: 67,000
Genre: YA Historical
Pitch: Gambled away to the infamous Blood Pirate by her master, sixteen-year-old Cecily must either join the Robin Hood-like captain and risk facing the gallows with the rest of the crew or surrender to the Royal Navy and face returning to her former life as an abused slave.
Excerpt:
The moonless sky provided no light for me to see down to the docks that evening. My imagination took over in place of my eyes and formed the horrors that might linger there in the bay. It was stupid to let my mind wander, really. I needed to keep my wits about me on those late nights in town when my greatest fears had the potential to come to life in the worst of ways.
While Mr. Collins drowned his sorrows in his drink, he forced me to stand in wait until he needed me to escort his vomit-soaked self back to the farm.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like it has a lot of opportunity for adventure, but I’m primarily interested in contemporary right now. When you’re pitching historical, though, I’d definitely be specific about the time period; it’s so important.
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TITLE: THE EXPIRY PARADOX
WORD COUNT: 83,000
GENRE: SOPHISTICATED SPECULATIVE THRILLER
Pitch:-
There is a word for soul in every language on Earth. What’s inside us was never in doubt…until Bernstein went looking for proof and found our most treacherous enemy within. The Adjustment Bureau meets American Gods.
When Bernstein’s tech company produces activity-monitoring wearables that detect an energy spike at the point of death, he suspects it’s evidence of the human soul. Before news gets out, Bernstein’s daughter is kidnapped and his research team brutally murdered by religious extremists who claim science has gone too far. Chased from London to the bleak mountains of north Norway, the body count mounts as Bernstein discovers he’s being pursued by an ancient, sentient race embodied in humanity. Their leader, Fordon, commands his clandestine army to kill Bernstein and his allies to prevent mankind from uncovering the world’s oldest secret: that our most dangerous enemy lives within us, and is steering us toward self-destruction.
Excerpt:-
Hustling back into his office, Bernstein noticed the pungent smell of flowers barely a moment before their colour brought him to a standstill. Red and white…blood and blankets…bad luck.
The bouquet had been placed on his desk in the short time he’d been to the staff restaurant for lunch; nothing fancy, salad and a raw juice––he wanted to run five quick miles before his next meeting. There was no good reason anyone would send him flowers.
Stuck to the cellophane, a small white envelope bore his name. He ripped into it and read the message inside.
‘The lives of your family and employees are in danger. I am waiting in reception. Kokoro.’
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Thanks for the pitch! I like The Adjustment Bureau comp, but I’m afraid I generally stay away from speculative. Several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) feel differently, though; you might check out their wishlists.
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Title: Poverty Knoll
Word count: 57,000
Genre: MG Historical
Pitch: Herman is 10 between the first and second World Wars. Starving forces him to steal. Upon befriending a wild dog while foraging, the dog is shot. Hermie is left, stolen chicken in hand, at the end of the sheriff’s rifle. Escorted back home Momma (suffering from un-diagnosed schizophrenia) goes crazy on the officer smacking him with the porch broom.
The whole family is taken into care. Momma to an insane asylum, him and his two sisters to a turn of the century orphanage. Can Hermie’s journey through the Depression, wars, prejudice, and mental health disorders find him back home?
Excerpt: I walk the train tracks picking up the little gravelly bits of coal left from
the steam engines as they pass through our town. Mostly the black, shiny rocks
are the size of peas, what other gatherers pass over, I get all those. A guy
shouldn’t love a job as much as this. But, I get to wander, and provide heat
for my family at the same time. Hanging out on the tracks seeing the big steam
engines go by is the best part of my day. Someday, I’ll be wearing striped bib
overalls and a C & O train hat, going from one town to the other, seeing all the
places a kid like me wouldn’t never get to see.
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Thanks for the pitch! I appreciate the high stakes here, but I’m afraid my taste generally runs to contemporary–wholly subjective!
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Title: Standing The Final Watch
Word Count: 90,000
Genre: Thriller
Pitch:
Nick Angriff awakens after sixty years to find the United States government destroyed, with a bizarre religious sect enslaving the survivors. He commands an elite military unit stored in suspended animation, and resurrecting America becomes Angriff’s sacred duty.
Before he can save others, however, he must first stay alive. Angriff discovers remnants of the extremist factions of the dead U.S.A. within his brigade, and he’s a target for both sides.
His choice is stark: dig out threats within Operation Overtime first while watching innocents die, or risk assassination in order to fulfill his mission and end the slavery and slaughter.
Excerpt:
“Saint!” the Armored Personnel Carriers’ (APC) commander called through cupped hands. “We got an open channel abort order from Centcom! Do I respond?”
“Negative, we’re dark!” the man code-named Saint Nick shouted back, turning to face the commander in the turret behind him. Standing in the APCs forward hatch, he made a twirling motion with his index finger. “Wind her up! Get this bucket moving!”
It was not enough that they were already skidding and sliding at a reckless speed. Saint Nick, known worldwide as Lt. General Nicholas T. Angriff, never let his men die if he could help it.
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Thanks for the pitch! It does sound interesting, but I’m afraid the futuristic angle just isn’t where my heart lies right now. Best of luck with it, though!
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Title: Kindreds
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 73,000
Pitch:
Becoming an orphan and finding love in the same week should be enough turmoil for 16-year-old Charlie. Instead, when a secret carnival world threatens to take her love, a battle to save him ensues.
Excerpt:
Fall 1954
“We interrupt your currently scheduled program for some breaking news.”
“Nooooo! I want to watch the Cisco Kid,” yelled 10-year-old Hamm at the 14-inch black and white television. He sat in the middle of the living room rug with his stubby legs crossed in front of him.
After living in this particular foster home for two months, his only joy was watching cartoons each weekday afternoon before his foster father came home.
“Shut up! I can’t hear what they’re saying,” his foster brother Robby said and punched him in the arm.
At 15, Robby stood a good foot taller and 50 pounds heavier than Hamm. Hamm learned within the first days of living there that Robby used his fists to get whatever he wanted.
Hamm glared at Robby. He was small, but he was quick and already smarter than Robby. More often than not, he could read Robby’s body language and see it coming. Hamm clenched his fists and rocked back slightly.
“You just wait,” Hamm murmured.
Robby punched his pudgy fist into his open hand.
“I can’t wait, you little loser,” Robby muttered back.
“All right you two, cut it out or else,” their foster mother warned, raising her left eyebrow. “Robby, turn it up, will ya?”
Her raspy, cigarette-smoking voice made Hamm’s skin crawl.
Robby moved forward and turned the volume up on the television, kicking Hamm in the thigh when he walked by.
“Oww!” Hamm said and grabbed his leg.
Robby snickered under his breath.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. Best of luck.
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Title: Faesight
Word count: 75,000
Genre: Adult Fantasy
Pitch: (100-words maximum): The peace of a mountain town is shattered when two young women end up dead. Some people think the eighteen-year-old son of the brewer family is to blame because he was with the second when she drowned. Complicating matters, Thomas discovers he can see an actual faerie, but nobody else can. Afraid he will be framed for murder, he runs away from home and out into the world. Unfortunately, people end up dying along every step of his journey. Thomas wrestles with his sanity and his gift, while others try to chase both him and the killers down.
Excerpt: (The first 100-words of your novel. If it falls in the middle of your sentence, no worries, just finish your sentence out.): Thomas took one final breath in and held it lightly. Eyes sighted down the barrel of his rifle, he focused on his prey. His bare finger tightened gently on the cool steel trigger. Like thunder, the rifle’s report tore through the peaceful mountain pine forest, interrupting the soft harmony of the shrikes singing in the treetops replacing their song with a ringing in his ears. The butt of the weapon recoiled into his shoulder. Thin wisps of white-gray smoke curled from the end of his barrel, masking the pine scent of the mountain with the acrid stench of burnt gunpowder, and he could see his shot had found its mark.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I like the high stakes here, though; good luck!
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Title: THE DUEL
Word Count: 105K
Genre: Romantic Historical Thriller
(steamy, feminist twist on Sir Walter Scott)
Pitch:
Edinburgh beauty Peggie Stewart, eldest daughter in a prominent family of judges, diplomats, and spies, secretly pens radical pamphlets and plays advocating Scottish independence, while her uncles plot to unseat the Prime Minister and aunts introduce her to courtly admirers. But when the rakish Sir Thomas Calderwood, on a mission for the Crown, uncovers her involvement in a nascent Jacobite conspiracy, each must decide whether politics or passion will hold sway. Duty and vengeance obligate him to expose her clan; she must convince him to join their cause.
Based on the real-life great-niece of Scott’s Bride of Lammermoor.
Excerpt:
Sir Thomas Calderwood, claimant to two Scottish baronies, tripped on the hearthstone. Blasted boots.
Revenge required precision. Good thing he’d drunk only half a bottle of that fine Madeira.
He lit a taper and huffed in the cold air. God’s blood, his breath could set the room ablaze. He steadied himself against the chimneypiece, then stabbed and thrust at the embers with the fire iron as if preparing for a swordfight instead of—this.
“Robin!” he called, his throat raw.
The lad appeared in the doorway. “Shall I stir thy fire, Sir?”
“No, no.” He softened his voice. “Warm me some water and have Mrs. Lang send up coffee and bread.”
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Thanks for the pitch! I feel sure there’s an agent out there for this; it’s got so much to hang onto. I’m afraid my tastes run more towards the contemporary, though. Good luck!
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