You may have heard that Sub It Club is 3 and we are celebrating! Today we are thrilled to have Jennifer Johnson-Blalock of Liza Dawson Associates here at the Sub It Club blog perusing your pitches! If you have not yet read our interview with Jennifer, please do go and read it. Jennifer shared a ton of insights that you’re sure to find helpful before pitching.
Pitch day is over but Jennifer left a ton of great feedback. You can learn a lot by reading through the comments! Jennifer had high hopes of being able to give everyone feedback and did all she could, but ran out of time. It looks like she got pretty far though. We had a lot of pitches! Jennifer will definitely read through the all pitches this week and make requests if any more pique her interest. Jennifer will be looking at pitches today between 10am and 6pm EST.She will be offering feedback and making requests on those that pique her interest!
Here are the rules:
Only pitch work in the genres that Jennifer represents:
- narrative and prescriptive nonfiction
- commercial and upmarket fiction ( especially thrillers/mysteries, women’s fiction)
- contemporary romance
- young adult
- middle grade
Pitch completed fiction or complete nonfiction proposals only.
Post your pitch in the comments section of this post using the following format:
- Title:
- Word count:
- Genre:
- Pitch: (100-words maximum)
- Excerpt: (The first 100-words of your novel. If it falls in the middle of your sentence, no worries, just finish your sentence out.)
If you get a request:
- In the Subject Line put: Sub It Club Pitch Day – YOUR TITLE
- Paste your pitch into the body of the email
- Attach the requested number of pages as a Word document (.doc)
- Send requested manuscripts to queryjennifer[at]lizadawson[dot]com
Yes, attach the pages! Jennifer says, “a lot of agents ask for pages attached because we read on various devices–a Kindle in my case.” So there you go!
If you have questions, I’ll be hanging around in our Sub It Club Submission Support Group and will answer asap. Here’s to some great pitches. Best of luck everyone!
P.S. When you’re done pitching and are patiently waiting for a reply, why not pop over and enter our autographed book giveaway for CHICKEN LILY, illustrated by Nina Victor Crittenden! It is so adorable.
Sub It Club 
Title: The Last Dreamer
Word count: 52,283
Genre: Upper MG fantasy
Pitch:
Fourteen-year-old Ivy Wilson has never fit in and so she leaps at the chance to travel to Yazmine, another world. Her naivety keeps her ignorant of the war raging around her until she is captured and psychologically tortured by Malum, a fire sorcerer fueled by revenge for a past wrongdoing. Ivy is rescued, but is traumatized and wants to leave. She eventually changes her mind and enlists in the battle to protect her newfound home, friends, and her own future. The price of war is heavy and, if any are going to survive, it must be paid.
Excerpt:
Four grades full of students eating their food in unison. Just like every day. We were like a cow herd. The bell rang, we came to school. The bell rang, we went home. We slept, we ate, and followed the same pattern we had our entire lives. It was all one boring routine.
I surveyed the cafeteria before going back to eating my sandwich. Lunch was a great place to catch up on the homework I had forgotten to do last night. I finished the last few problems on my math worksheet. I wrote ‘Ivy Wilson’ on the top. What was the date? I could never remember.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent fantasy, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. In general, though, I think one of the most important things about fantasy is the world building, so I would have loved to see more specifics about what Yazmine is and why it’s special in your pitch.
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TITLE: BAD THINGS COME IN THREES
GENRE: Romantic Suspense
WORD COUNT: 87,000
PITCH:
Dear Ms. Johnson-Blalock,
To ensure combat photographer Gray Emerson suffers before she dies, a revenge-seeking terrorist targets her loved ones.
To stop the killings, Gray must accept help from her estranged father’s Special Operations task team. Falling for the team’s leader wasn’t part of her plan.
Gray has one rule when it comes to men. No married-to-the-military bastards. But Sergeant Chase Mackenzie has his own gravitational pull, and she’s attracted to it.
It’s a problem.
He’s a dangerously sexy distraction, and lives are at stake. Quite possibly his. Most definitely hers.
Thank you for your consideration.
EXCERPT:
You can’t find comfort in a bottle of vodka. Courage absolutely. Comfort – not so much. At least, not in Gray Emerson’s experience and she’d had lots of it. Experience that is…vodka, too.
Stashed in her bra her phone vibrated for the fourth time as the door of her three-by-five toilet stall shook again.
“Let’s go, bitch!”
Gray ignored the woman’s plea for access to the porcelain throne she was monopolizing and downed the first of two doubles. Grey Goose with a splash of Red Bull made her heart trip wildly and her head spin.
Thank God she was sitting down.
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Thanks for the pitch! Military-leaning RS is not my particular expertise, though I do deeply love your first paragraph. I would give a bit more description of your male lead in your pitch. I’m intrigued by Gray, but what’s special about Chase beyond the sexy uniform?
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Hi Jen. Though I’ve queried you a year ago, my query and ms has significantly changed since then.
Title: Venom
Word count: 108,000
Genre: Adult Thriller/Eco-thriller
Pitch: Renowed Herpetologist Kylie Marx expert’s advice is considered premier, when it comes to endangered skinks. That’s why, when a deadly wave of creeply crawlers descends upon the Key West area, Kylie’s called to produce a vial of synthetic anti-venom before chaos erupts. While at a Key West symposium investigating the slaughter of endangered skinks, an infestation of snakes and other dangerous amphibians invade the small island. The looming anti-venom shortage sends Kylie and her fellow scientists scouring the town for venom. They squeeze the goop from snakes, spider fangs and scorpion stingers to make this cure, but the supply can’t help everyone.
Excerpt: Kylie studied the long slender skinks crawling the glass walls of the tank on its four
short, small legs with thick, curved nails and a full-grown tail. Such a rare species to exhibit at the Naples Zoo’s reptile section, she widened her eyes as the dark green Solmon Island male skink crush a flower head with its jaw and torn a leaf in half with its tiny teeth. Now she waited for the female Solomon Island skink to emerge, flick its tongue, and be courted by this adult male skink.
On her tablet, she typed her observations and took a deep, satisfied breath.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m afraid the eco angle just still doesn’t get my heart pounding, which is what I really want from a thriller. It’s possible that other agents feel the same? Maybe focus more on the characters and what drives them.
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Hannah Bowman @hannahnpbowman · Jun 2 2014
After seeing the trailer for NIGHT MOVES, I would love to find a YA eco-terrorist thriller. #mswl
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Hannah Bowman @hannahnpbowman · Jun 2 2014
After seeing the trailer for NIGHT MOVES, I would love to find a YA eco-terrorist thriller. #mswl
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Title: THE AURORA GENE
Word count: 71,000
Genre: YA Science Fiction with elements of Fantasy
Pitch:
Seventeen-year-old Ellie McClaire was the epitome of a typical teenager, until her world melted away with two deadly words. You’re infected. Diagnosed with a virus threatening humanity’s existence, Ellie’s life is forever changed. Taken to a facility dedicated for the infected, Ellie must put her faith in an alien race called the Meorie. They promised the world to find a cure, to let her return home, but instinct warns her about their true intentions. Deprived of her own choices, tormented by Bataars, and betrayed by her own race—Ellie fights to return to those she loves.
Excerpt:
Weathered pages turned under the sun’s lingering rays. My mind needed a distraction, and diving into a book was easier than worrying about the medical screenings. Our town started them a few days ago, and we were still waiting for our chance to be given the all clear.
I was seventeen soon to be eighteen. In fact, in precisely two hours and three minutes it would be my birthday—though no huge party awaited me. The military placed everyone under house arrest till deemed clear. Honestly, it didn’t matter, I always preferred celebrating with my family.
“Ellie, don’t you dare come down till I say so,” mom shouted from downstairs.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I like that the stakes seem high in this, though the players aren’t entirely clear to me. With SFF, you have to be careful not to rely on the names that you know; I’m not sure who the Bataars are or why they’re tormenting Ellie.
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Thank you so much, Heather, for this opportunity–congrats on Year 3! Jennifer, thank you for taking time out of your day to pop in here and check out our pitches. Best of all, we appreciate the feedback!
Title: Daughter of Pele
Word Count: 91,000
Genre: Mystery/Police Procedural
Pitch:
For synthesia-affected empath Alexandra Drake, social isolation is vital to her mental well-being, yet she craves more than her hermitic life despite the danger from a volatile talent she’s chosen to ignore.
An unexpected transfer to SFPD’s Homicide Division forces her to forge a partnership with Kieran Donovan, who offers something she longs for: true friendship.
When evidence links their teen suicide case to the Japanese mob, they find themselves targeted by the yakuza as the syndicate renews its foothold in the city. Alexandra must reacknowledge her fiery ability to save her partner’s life, because losing him might destroy her.
First 100 words:
Sweat trickled down Alexandra Drake’s chest. Tropical air thick with the promise of rain tasted of the ocean blocks away. Hell, she hated waiting. Three years on Honolulu PD’s Narcotics/Vice squad had exercised her modicum of patience, but that trait hadn’t improved.
She rested a hip against an unmarked steel barrel behind the warehouse and prayed they’d finish this raid before boredom killed her. The vibrant tempest inside her skull assured her she wasn’t the only one ready for things to get moving. Nothing like waiting until some judge could be bothered on a Sunday to sign a search warrant.
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Thanks for the pitch! I have to admit to a slight wariness about mob-driven stories (just a subjective preference), and I wish you’d explained in the pitch what Alexandra’s disorder was exactly. Once I googled, I was intrigued, though, and I like the friendship angle. Could you send me 20 pages following the guidelines above?
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Will do. Thank you!
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Good morning, Jennifer. Thanks for stopping by!
I see you’re looking for YA, but I’m not sure you’re open to Fantasy. However, I’ve read you would love to find more strong female characters and diversity in your submissions, so I’m giving my pitch a try. Thanks anyway for reading. Have a great day!
Title: NILE
Word Count: 98,000
Genre: YA Diverse Fantasy
Pitch:
When Laura journeys to Egypt, an accident renders her half-dead. Stranded in a multiverse, she wakes up on a different planet and encounters the local Pharaoh, Arem. The more Laura learns about Arem’s culture, the more she wants to stay. She never belonged on Earth, anyway.
Jealous of Laura and Arem growing close to each other, Arem’s betrothed seeks the help of Raeki, a feared universe jumper, to get rid of Laura and send her back to her world. But when Raeki realizes Laura is also a Deo, his plan takes an unexpected turn.
Raeki asks Laura to join him in his intentions to rule over Arem’s realm, and if there’s something Laura loves more than anything, that’s power. However, she becomes hesitant when she learns about Raeki’s true objective: the annihilation of the Seven Universes. Now Laura must choose to either return to Earth, or stay to save the one planet that finally feels like home.
But in a world with no heroes, anyone has a chance to become the worst of villains.
100 words:
Chapter 1 – Beta Universe: APRAESIS
Our two moons once foretold that I would become Queen of Hieros, Sun of the Four Kingdoms. But I had never been light. In fact, darkness had never left me. I lived in the shadows, and ruled under the light.
My mentor Raeki stretched out his arms at the other end of the Stone Room, ready to attack. Ready to hurt.
“Piros!” I shouted. A flame sprung from my fingertips, a blazing raindrop of orange heat that crept up my hands. I released the fire, allowing it to spread across the chamber like an uncaged tiger.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF because I leave it in the capable hands of my several colleagues who do (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell); you might check out their wishlists. Be careful not to leave us with undefined terms (Deo? Is that the same thing as universe jumper?). But I deeply love the moral ambivalence of all your characters. Definitely sounds intriguing.
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Title: THINGS BETTER NOT HEARD
Word count:76k
Genre: YA Contemporary
Pitch:
Determined to win a scholarship and break her Aboriginal family’s cycle of welfare dependence, Natasha sees education as her ticket out of a small Australian town.
However, the arrival of Turkish immigrant, Tarik, ignites an immediate attraction. Tarik doesn’t consider her deafness a disability. Despite increasing anti-Muslim sentiment, their relationship intensifies.
But when fantasy wears off and reality sets in, Natasha discovers Tarik has secrets. In an act of petty revenge, Natasha makes a short-sighted mistake that leaves her pregnant, alone and trapped. If she can’t find a way to follow her dream, she’ll be a failure; just like Mum.
Excerpt:
The bottom dropped out of my stomach like I’d hit a speed bump at one-fifty, and I goldfished for breath. The sudden stillness of the classroom meant five other girls—and probably at least two boys—also rated the new guy at precisely the same level as me. To. Die. For.
Hayley stiffened alongside me like a hunting dog. If I risked a glance at her I’d lose my shit for sure, because she’d be pointing with her boobs rather than her nose.
Disguising my reaction, I shoved a hand through my hair. And froze.* Damn.* Flouting school rules, my hair hung loose. I relied on the teachers to ignore my only defiance, rather than tackle a potentially embarrassing conversation, yet I’d exposed myself.
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Thanks for the pitch! I love the diversity here–as well as the phrase “goldfished for breath.” Could you please send 50 pages following the guidelines above?
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Title: Michael Chapman and the Burning Tower
Word Count: 60400
Genre: Middle Grade Science Fiction
Pitch:
Michael Chapman is suffering through the most boring summer in the history of the universe, but that all changes when his father’s friend shrinks their house, puts it in a suitcase, and says it’s time to go home to Mars. Once they reach the colony, Michael thinks his life is nearly perfect. That is, until his father is kidnapped by an organization known only as the Burning Tower. When no adults seem interested in finding those responsible, Michael decides to journey across the planet to rescue his father, but he soon learns that what awaits him may not be human.
Excerpt:
As a recent graduate of the sixth grade, Michael Chapman knew a thing or two about how the world worked and felt more than qualified to say that this was the most boring summer in the history of the universe.
Michael was short for his age with straight blonde hair and ears that stuck out a little more than he would have liked. He lived with his father in a cabin on a river in the town of Beaver Creek, Alaska. Beavers were extinct, of course, and had been for centuries, but no one had bothered to change the name.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. As a frequent traveler, I love the idea of someone shrinking their house into a suitcase. But I wanted to know more about the world–why we’re on Mars, why there’s this organization kidnapping people, etc.
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Title: MURDER ON THE HOOF
Word count: 70K
Genre: Mystery
Pitch:
After her boss’s death ends years of constant world travel, Cecile Meadows retreats to her brother’s horse rescue for the summer to rethink her life. A rich local family is organizing a charity auction to benefit the rescue, but there is tension between the family members and when murder hits the auction and an old crush is implicated, Cecile dives into the rich family’s world of horse breeding and showing to unmask a killer who might have killed on the hoof, but will now do anything to frame another for his crime.
First 100:
Furious whinnying almost made Cecile Meadows drop her morning mocha.
The first rays of sunshine crept over her kitchen curtains, giving the guest house unit a Mediterranean glow.
Having slept in countless hotel rooms all over the world, some luxurious and almost soundproof, others cheap and situated right beside the elevator or ice cube machine, Cecile had become virtually immune to sounds. No point in letting a creaking board ruin your stay.
But this horse’s voice outside was primitive and raw. The trailer he was trashing with his hoofs had taken him to safety, but he didn’t know it yet.
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Thanks for the pitch! I grew up with horses, so that’s a bonus factor for me. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how I’d market this as an agent. It’s not quite a cozy, not a procedural, not a domestic suspense…it seems to be falling into a grey area, and those are extremely tough in publishing.
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Title: WITH GOOD INTENTIONS
Word count: 59,000
Genre: YA Mystery
Pitch:
Sixteen-year old Gabby Evans is no ordinary teen; she’s a first year medical student and finds herself in the middle of trying to find out who’s behind the missing bodies from the morgue. She suspects that some of her friends may be involved. Does she pursue truth or stand with her friends? Can she do both?
Excerpt:
‘Oh my god. How much fluid can a person throw up?’ I thought to myself bent over the toilet in the women’s restroom. The acrid taste in my mouth plus the smell of the formaldehyde on my hands made me heave again. This time I remembered to pull my hair back. This morning could’ve been worse. I could’ve vomited on the cadaver. ‘Why did I have to think about that? ‘ This time the vomit was green. It sort of looked like the spinach and kale smoothies that my mom forced dad to drink. ‘Note to self, never drink one of them.’
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m curious about this, but I’d need some more details for it to possibly pique my interest enough to request. How is she in med school? Why would someone be taking dead bodies/what are the stakes? Why does she suspect her friends? I know it’s hard to fit everything in, but the last two sentences aren’t doing much for you, and a few more details would paint a more intriguing picture.
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Hey, Jennifer! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 I appreciate your time and consideration. Following your interest in commercial and upmarket fiction (especially thrillers/mysteries, women’s fiction), I thought Diamonds and Coal could be a good fit for you.
Title: Diamonds And Coal
Word count: 83,000
Genre: Romantic Thriller
100-word pitch:
In order to promote her latest movie, actress Shadow agrees to fake a relationship with her co-star and frenemy Krats. The film becomes a worldwide success, and the buzz captures President Jen Kao’s attention. Infatuated with the actress, Jen Kao invites Shadow and the rest of her film crew to Gomita, the secluded island he runs like fortress.
Before the trip, Shadow is blackmailed by an intelligence agency to undergo a mission: earn Jen Kao’s trust, and steal his intel. By any means necessary. If she fails to do this, her most fearsome secret will be exposed, and she will have to kiss her career goodbye.
In Gomita, things take a turn for the worse when Shadow starts falling for her co-star Krats. If Shadow wants to make it out alive, she must make Krats believe she doesn’t love him. Survival will soon become the role of a lifetime. Luckily for Shadow, she’s always been one hell of a performer.
First 100 words:
In retrospect, accepting the mission was the worst choice I could have made.
I would do it all over again.
***
“27 September, 2015”
All conference rooms seemed the same to me. Same sterile style, same smell of fancy closet. Like an elegant Christmas with Frank Sinatra.
The floor-to-ceiling windows sparkled yellow against the coming dark, the line of endless skyscrapers glowing on the horizon like a myriad of sleeping fireflies. Where was I again?
New York. I had come back to New York.
And there I was, a twenty-seven-year-old girl who apparently had everything and still wanted more. The sky had never been the limit.
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Thanks for the pitch! Your first two sentences in the excerpt are certainly intriguing. The stakes feel a bit too muddled, though. Why won’t Shadow make it out alive? Why does it matter if she falls for Krats? And I’m not sure of the market–it doesn’t read like a mainstream thriller, but it doesn’t quite fit the romantic suspense market, either.
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Title: TUESDAY OR THANKSGIVING
Word Count: 66,000
Genre: Women’s fiction
Pitch:
Blindsided by the sudden death of her mother, and recent relationship blow-up, Kate’s devastated, alone, and stuck taking care of her Alzheimer’s riddled grandmother. Fueled by copious amounts of chardonnay, cigarettes, and despair, her life spirals out of control. Kate considers killing Irene by speeding up the “natural causes thing” that will eventually take her anyway.
It’s the story about the toll Alzheimer’s takes on both women. Irene grapples in the present, her mind cemented in the past, while Kate struggles to find her own strength, understanding, and happiness with what she thinks is left of her own life.
Excerpt:
Kate had been preoccupied during the entire Gala meeting. Her notebook was open, but she hadn’t written anything down. She thought about how upset her mother had been. When she got home, they would have a long talk and Kate would make sure Carol understood that she supported her decision, whatever avenue she chose, when it came to caring for Irene. After all, Carol was her mother, and Irene – crazy or not was her grandmother.
Kate and Cindy pulled in the driveway. She opened the front door, waited for the door chimes, ding, ding, ding. Irene was sitting in her chair, fresh lipstick on and handbag by her side.
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Thanks for the pitch! There’s a lot that I find interesting here–the grandmother/child relationship, Alzheimer’s, the fact that Kate is a bit of a mess. I worry that it will be tough to follow in the footsteps of a book like STILL ALICE, but I’d like to take a peek. Could you send the first 20 pages according to the guidelines above, please?
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Will do. Thank you so much!
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Title: LOST IN TRANSITION
Word Count: 55,000
Genre: YA Contemporary
Pitch:
When Vanessa’s best friend abruptly drops her and manipulates the rest of their peer group to follow, Vanessa is paralyzed by anxiety and turns to restrictive eating. Dangerously underweight after a hellish semester of brutal social isolation, she transfers to a new high school to save herself and start over.
Vanessa wants to be “fine”. But her past haunts her. Remembering the trauma she’s repressed can help her move on. But if the truth stays buried underneath layers of self-protection, Vanessa risks distancing herself at Baytown too, and spending the rest of high school as an outsider lost in transition.
Excerpt:
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay here by yourself?”
“I’ll be fine, Mom.” I know she’s asking because of everything that happened last year. I really wish she’d stop. I wish everyone would stop. I don’t know how many times I have to tell them I’m fine.
I give Mom a hug goodbye and close the car door. I see about a dozen other kids gathered in the parking lot to wait for the bus, huddled in groups a few yards away. I smile at a few who look my way, but take a spot by myself on a nearby bench.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think this definitely has the makings of an emotionally resonant YA. Unfortunately, it’s just not the sort of thing I’m drawn to–it seems like a more straightforward issue book. I’d like to see more of a hook or a bit of an edge to Vanessa’s character. Best of luck to you, though!
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Title: Midtown Aphrodite
Word count: 79,000
Genre: Women’s Fiction (NOT Erotica)
Pitch:
When an aging actress and beauty uses an Ashley Madison-type site to recapture the adoration of her youth, her flings become a dangerous obsession that jeopardize her job, family, and ultimately, her freedom. The Tony-award-winning actress casts herself as Midtown Aphrodite, the goddess of love and lust in the heart of Manhattan, and relives the exhilaration of new lovers’ attentions. Her cavorting escalates from carefully-selected commuters to an arrest for solicitation. Rehab forces her to recognize her delusions and decide if life over forty is worth living if sobriety, monogamy, and acceptance are the price.
Excerpt:
I’d be lying if I said losing my looks is no big deal. Goddamnit, it hurts like a sonofabitch.
#
In my fifty-fourth year, I became a sex addict.
My lawyer recommended it. Alcoholism alone had lost its leverage as a mitigating factor for predicaments such as mine. A second malady bolstered my defense and possibility of a reduced sentence.
He dismissed my protestations that I was a social, albeit heavy, drinker and certainly wasn’t a pervert. He said it didn’t matter. The truth didn’t matter. Getting off mattered. So, I played along. Acting was what I did best. I had two Tony awards.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think the central questions that you’re asking here about beauty and aging are very interesting. The extremity of her reaction, though, doesn’t feel wholly relatable–and for me, relatability is really key with women’s fiction. I wish you all the best with it, though!
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Title: RAKER
Word Count: 80,000
Genre: New Adult, Suspense Thriller
Pitch:
Jessamine Rhodes, a blind university student, must identify an elusive killer or risk becoming the next victim.
Excerpt: Kurt Degen stirred beneath the sheets and reluctantly opened his eyes. He turned his attention to his latest romantic encounter, Jessamine Rhodes, as she discreetly removed the forest green, satin sheet which covered her legs. “What time is it?” he murmured.
Jessamine did not turn to face her companion. “It’s morning…”
Kurt wiped the sleep from his eyes as the young woman placed the soles of her feet on the cool, hardwood floor and rose to a standing position. He observed the crimson red, Chantilly lace, baby-doll lingerie, worn by the young woman as she stretched her arms and casually walked across the floor in the direction of the bedroom window.
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Thanks for the pitch! Blindness certainly provides an opportunity for suspense (Wait Until Dark, anyone?), but New Adult is a tough category right now and one I’m not currently delving into barring extraordinary circumstances. I also think these first 100 words are a little too focused on the male gaze for my taste.
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Title: THE CAERWOOD CIRCLE
Word count: 80,000
Genre: YA Fantasy
Pitch:
Synne is a fisherman’s daughter. She’s also one of four princesses attending Caerwood Academy to smooth over their kingdoms’ squabbles.
The school year spirals into a nightmare when the teachers abandon the girls, a magical hedge trapping them in the castle. They may survive – if they can escape the hedge, turn their prison into a fortress, learn the forgotten skill of wordcraft, and fend off a sorcerer. Oh, and don’t forget kitchen duty. If they can do that, with a cryptic letter from their kidnapper and a little help from a goat, then they’ll save their lives and their kingdoms.
Excerpt:
Needing directions to the king’s house was a new problem for the courier. Palaces and mansions were generally easy to spot. Even a fortress was conspicuous, though sometimes out of the way. He turned onto the rough dirt track, which wound high over the quay onto the clifftop. A single lit window showed a house built against the sheer rock face.
Windswept scrub trees lined the pebbly road, their tortured limbs pointing the way upward as the rain gave up and the moon lit the foam on the beaches below. The house shrank as the horseman approached. It was smaller than the other village houses.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I like the potential for girl power here, but it feels a bit cute for where YA is at right now. Could it be MG, or is there a way to make the conflict seem more intense?
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Title: A Princess by Midnight
Word Count: 45,000
Genre: Middle Grade
100 Word Pitch:
Thirteen-year-old Halo loves her fellow miniature friends who live inside a Christmas tree. When Scarletta announces she’ll compete for princess, Halo signs up for the royal competition. She’ll be a reindeer’s cousin before she lets an unqualified newcomer rule the village.
After three events, Halo’s winning. Then a human declares he’ll never decorate again, dooming the villagers to disperse across the world.
Halo has twenty-four hours to choose—share a royal future with Prince Leon (aka Secret Crush) while her friends scatter. Or convince Leon to rule alongside Scarletta, which will magically move everyone into a new tree, everyone…except Halo.
100 Word Excerpt:
Halo opened her eyes and found herself nose to nose with a polar bear ornament. After a few seconds of close-up staring, the bear yawned, giving evidence to large pointed teeth. Halo grabbed the sides of his face and rubbed her forehead against his.
“Sorry,” she said. “Hope I didn’t tickle you.”
The white beauty shook his fur, and the ornament hook vanished. He plopped onto the branch and nudged his snout into Halo’s hand. The bear sauntered over to the pine tree’s trunk, slashed his claws into the bark, and climbed down.
After each eleven month disappearing act, Halo relished the surprise of her appearance within Eloise and Charles Johnson’s decorated tree during the Christmas season.
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Thanks for the pitch! I love Christmas, but I’m just not sure about how to position a book where the protagonist is actually an ornament. Is there a way to bring a human girl into the world? And it’s definitely drifting towards fantasy, which I typically don’t represent because my colleagues do it so well. You might check out their wishlists!
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Title: Maggie & Susie
Word count: 41,00
Genre: MG (memoir)
Pitch:
I was ten years old, growing up in the mid-eighties, when my white stepfather asked me—a black and white mixed girl, if I wanted to play Russian roulette. He said, “People look at you and can’t figure it out—you ain’t never gonna fit in nowhere.” This collection of stories begins on that day. Desperate to prove him wrong, I learned instead there was a hidden truth about the behavior of black people and white people and their attitudes towards me, once they decided for themselves which side of the fence I belonged on.
Excerpt:
I was ten years old when Craig asked me if I wanted to play Russian Roulette. He was married to my mother at the time. I never addressed him by name. When I did have to speak to him, I got his attention by talking loud. Craig would tell us we weren’t his kids and that he was glad of it. He told us never to call him dad, daddy, or anything else related; and we didn’t because we didn’t want too anyway. We, my brother and sister and I, would say we were glad he wasn’t our real father; but that was only when he couldn’t hear us.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like a very powerful story, though I’m not sure about its positioning as MG. The voice feels adult; you’re clearly looking back on your experiences. And MG nonfiction right now seems to tend towards prominent figures.
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Title: MELISSA VIVIENNE WESTWOOD JELLY SHOES THEORY
Word count: 75000
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Pitch:
Save the best and original for last and use Class A imitations made in China — is the MELISSA VIVIENNE WESTWOOD JELLY SHOES THEORY.
This is what hunting for true love is like for Justine Blair. She keeps Ian, her ideal man waiting, and chases after her exes— the parasite-and-puppy-rolled-into-one, the parasite, the puppy, and the one who got away.
Realizing she has only been looking for love in the wrong places, she shifts her gear to win Ian. And if she’s not too late for him, she’ll be able to finally use the original Melissa Vivienne Westwood Jelly shoes.
Excerpt:
I broke free of the stigma of being a single parent. And it had only been recently that I came to terms with it.
For me, the biggest perk of being a single mom was not sharing my bathroom with a man who can be very sloppy, even though my child can be sloppier and had developed the annoying habits of a boy.
And the downside? I couldn’t have sex at any time I want. Unless of course, I chose to buy a toy or a man. Or in my case, a bulky pillow had been my mate for many years.
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Thanks for the pitch! So I love shoes and Vivienne Westwood, but I’m just not entirely clear on what’s happening here–how that hook fits into the story. And what’s keeping Justine and Ian from being together. The essence of the story just isn’t coming through in this pitch, unfortunately.
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Title: Lunch with Bianca
Word count: 76K
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Pitch:
Lexi’s journey from grief and guilt over her parent’s deaths to healing, and her journey from loneliness to love, is a twisted one. Lexi, a professional escort and doctoral candidate, has many men in her life. Most come and go without incident. Two men will change her forever. Mark, an angry man, initially wants Lexi but ends up hating her. Ryan, a heartbroken man, initially hates Lexi, but ends up loving her. These men are dangerous to Lexi, one to her life and one to her heart. In their love and hate for Lexi, they’re dangerous to each other.
Excerpt:
As usual, Bianca took a too large bite of her Gyros. I always tell her, ‘In lunch and in life, if the shape of your face changes you have bitten off more than you can chew.’ That Tuesday’s lunch seemed no different than the dozens of almost weekly lunches Bianca and I ate together. The things I did that day were no different than any other Tuesday. Tracing it back though, the ordinary decisions and the ordinary things of that day were like the first tremors of an earthquake deep in the ocean that sent a tsunami over the landscape of my life.
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Thanks for the pitch! Lexi seems like a rich and fascinating character. The story appears to be a bit outside of the contemporary romance box, though, which usually has dual POVs with the male and female leads, which can make it a tough sell. I don’t think I have the vision for it, but best of luck!
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Title: SINGING, DANCING, AND THE SEVENTH INNING STRETCH
Word Count: 43,000
Genre: MG contemporary
Pitch:
12yo Spike Jordan and the 6th Grade Baseball team need to audition for the school play in order to get money to go to the Middle School World Series. But it’s tough convincing kids to step off the field and onto the stage to try out for something that could make them feel as awkward as everyone else in middle school already does.
After finding they enjoy the play they’ve been roped into, they begin to discover that in a world full of possibilities, you can define yourself by more than one thing. The Sandlot meets Better Nate Than Ever.
Excerpt:
I was riding on my teammates shoulders, covered in dirt and sweat with a huge piece of pepperoni pizza dripping cheese in my hand.
“We Are the Champions” played loudly in the background, but the cheers were louder.
Then my mom marched up and pushed her way through the crowd.
“Spike!” she yelled at me.
Everything started to blur.
“Spike!” she yelled again.
I opened my eyes and realized I wasn’t celebrating another championship with the guys, but still in bed on a Saturday morning.
Not that my dream was all that unattainable. My team, The Wolf Pack, hasn’t lost a game in two seasons.
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Thanks for the pitch! This seems like it has potential to be fun, and I do have a soft spot for theater. But ultimately, it’s a bit younger and cuter than what I’m looking for in MG. And I’d avoid starting your book with a dream; it’s become a cliche. Best of luck to you, though!
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Title: Soulwalkers
Word Count: 98,500
Genre: Young Adult
Pitch: Seventeen-year-old Kia LaStrauss can see into your soul with the touch of her hand. She can see your fears, desires, wants. She can see your past. Your present. Your future. She is a Soulwalker. But she’s more than that. There hasn’t been a Soulwalker like her in a thousand years. Her mother, it turns out, is a powerful New Orleans Warlock, a trait that is passed down. When Soulwalkers in the city start going missing, Kia discovers that a rouge Soulwalker is trying to replicate her unique powers, and will stop at nothing to create his own hybrid.
Excerpt: Kia LaStrauss knew she was dreaming when the sound of chimes starting coming out of her mother’s mouth instead of any real words. Though, her mother had been yelling in the dream, so it was almost hard to tell the difference.
This was the dream that never went away, the dream that kept coming back just like that stray cat you fed one time, the dream that was actually a memory.
Her parents fighting. A suitcase. The front door held wide open. Rain. Heavy Rain. Their dad blowing kisses to her as he got into the car. The car door closing just as she reached it.
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Thanks for the pitch! So I’m not entirely sure whether this is falling into urban fantasy or paranormal, but I typically only rep realistic YA. The idea of being able to see into someone is intriguing, but I want to know more here about how Kia uses her power and why it’s dangerous that someone is trying to replicate it. What are the stakes?
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Pitch from Sonia Bricel
Title: EARTH EYES
Word Count: 52,000
Genre: YA Fantasy
100 Word Pitch:
When sixteen-year-old Theia Bryar is abducted by her new classmate, she finds herself on an island inhabited by people who can manipulate the elements. There, she discovers she’s the half-human daughter of Mother Nature– and the key to mom’s revenge against humans. With newfound powers and help from some unlikely friends, Theia must fight to stop the devolution of humanity. But as she comes to terms with the devastation Earth faces if humans continue their destructive ways, she finds herself questioning who she should really be fighting for.
First 100 Words:
I brushed my fingertips against the lavender as I walked. The air was thick with the smoky-sweet scent of the violet flowers. All I needed was mint, and I knew exactly what aisle it would be in. But I zigzagged through the garden center anyway, walking up and down the rows of plants, admiring their bursts of color. I was happiest when surrounded by a rainbow canvas of plants and the rich smell of the earth.
I found the pot of mint and headed towards the cash register. I was passing by the tulip bulbs when I saw Holt at the end of the aisle, staring at the small plot of Norfolk pine trees.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. The environmental angle is perennially intriguing, but you’ll want to do some research to make sure you’re distinguishing yourself and providing a really unique hook.
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Thank you for another wonderful opportunity! – Christina
Title: FROM PEAKSBURY TO PIYALI
Word count: 60,800
Genre: MG fantasy/sci-fi adventure
Pitch:
Twelve year old Ella Whitestone’s simple, electricity-free life is interrupted when she meets a beautiful space traveler in the woods. She questions her cozy upbringing when the traveler reveals family connections to another planet, and an uncle who Ella’s parents said was dead is actually alive, held captive in faraway Piyali. Shaken but compelled to travel far to help her imprisoned uncle, Ella is told to use an otherworldly code etched inside a family heirloom to free him. Friends old, new, and winged help her on this magical adventure, while she tries to outrun old family foes.
Excerpt:
“We’ve verified Ella Whitestone’s location and found the quickest path to reach her,” said a grey haired man who handed a rolled parchment through the door of a stony cottage.
“Thank you, Leon. I’m sorry you had to bring the map yourself,” Twyla said to him as she took it into her wrinkled hands.
Leon moved in closer. “You do know Ella is only twelve? And she doesn’t seem to know we exist?”
“I do.”
Leon hesitated before leaving. “I suppose you know what you’re doing.”
“I hope so.” Twyla shut the door behind Leon and slowly unrolled the map.
—–
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. I think your setup could be a bit more clear here–is her family hiding out in the woods?
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Thank you for your feedback! (Her family isn’t hiding out in the woods, so I need to work on clarity in the pitch!)
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I apologize for the formatting issues. I’m away from my regular computer. Thanks so much for this opportunity.
Title: MYSTERY AT THE WHITE HOUSE
Word count: 38,000
Genre: MG
Pitch: Hannah meets JT, the newly inaugurated president’s son. They discover a painting is missing from the White House. While searching for clues, Hannah gets to experience real life at the White House (ping pong in the game room, anyone?), and helps JT complete his bucket list of antics of previous president’s kids; which just might, maybe, possibly include goats. There’s a secret staircase and a fingerprint with a distinctive scar. So, is it the head housekeeper or the new delivery guy? They must solve the case of the missing painting before the FBI figures out what they’re up to.
Excerpt: Hannah sniffed. Her dad reached over, gently squeezing her shoulder. Visiting the White House without Pawpaw, her grandfather, was going to be harder than months to work out the details. This might be her only chance to see some of the exclusive art hanging on the walls of the walls of the White House. Hannah and her dad walked past the wrought iron fence and up to the small white guard house.
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Thanks for the pitch! This has the potential to be fun, but it’s a bit more cute caper-y than I’m currently seeking in MG. And I think you could make the stakes more clear: Why do THEY have to solve the mystery of the painting? Why is the painting so important to them?
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Title: REGICIDE
Word Count: 78,000
Genre: Historical Thriller
Pitch:
Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson is a dirty Texas politician who doesn’t want President John F. Kennedy dead, but he owes corrupt oil titans who won’t let them both live.
Once powerful Senator LBJ, is now a washed-up V.P drowning in rumors he’ll be dumped from the reelection ticket. Worse yet, Kennedy won’t do any favors for the crooks Lyndon owes, and they warn him to fix their “JFK problem.” In 1963, JFK proposes to slash the oil depletion allowance. Any reduction would cost Texas oil empires billions. That’s more than the price of one man’s life— maybe even two.
First 100 Words:
October 1957
“I’m meant to be president. I will be president,” Senate Majority Leader Lyndon Johnson says. His tone’s right on track. He’d bet four dollars it is. Came out the throat smooth and honest, the way he had practiced. That statement’s big and blunt, but he hit the note just so. Man oh man, he’s hot as a firecracker. Sure as hell, he looks impressive up here on the platform—gazing out his tall office window at the White House—like he’s contemplating the state of the nation. Right at this hour, the glare’s gone and the view is pretty as a pie supper.
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Thanks for the pitch! This is intriguing; alternate history always interests me as a reader. Unfortunately, I’m not enough of a history buff to be able to edit this well–I just wouldn’t be the best advocate. I wish you luck with it, though!
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Title: A FIELD GUIDE TO EFFED-UP PEOPLE AND MENTAL MAYHEM
Word count: 85,000 words
Genre: Prescriptive nonfiction (book proposal)
Pitch:
Halfway through the evening, you notice your hot date nibbling at his finger. Endearing habit, or red flag for autosarcophagy, the practice of eating one’s own flesh?
Look no farther than A FIELD GUIDE TO EFFED-UP PEOPLE AND MENTAL MAYHEM for the answer. This nonfiction parody geared toward new adults is packed with accurate information on critical mental health characteristics. Given that one in five new adults between 18 and 25 has some type of mental illness, it’s a reference worth having.
As for that flesh-eating boyfriend? It’s time to put your foot down—while you still have it! (Unless, of course you have vorarephilia and find the idea of being eaten kinkily arousing.)
Excerpt/ Sample entry:
Parcopresis or shy bowel syndrome – AKA: “Sack full of shit”
In a Nutshell:
The afflicted person is unable to defecate when other people are nearby or could enter the room.
Red Flags:
• Passing lots of gas
• Complains of abdominal pain
• Creeps off to the farthest possible bathroom
• Serious aversion to public restrooms
• Turns down invitations left and right
Things Not to Say:
• Have you ever noticed how the walls in this place are paper-thin?
• Relax. Shit happens.
• That movie is so hilarious it’ll make you shit your pants!
• Don’t you just hate anal-retentive people?
***Other headings for each entry will include:
o A Field Study (vignette/profile)
o Hot Combo–or Not? (possible upsides/downsides of fraternizing with someone with this affliction)
o When to Run for the Hills
o Etiology
o If You Stay… (treatment options)
o Prevalence
o Sidebars
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Thanks for the pitch! This definitely seems amusing, but my taste in nonfiction runs more serious. And I’m not sure how big the market is for this–I could see it being sold at Urban Outfitters perhaps, but I don’t know if it would find commercial success without a MASSIVE platform.
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Title: Jessie and the One More Thing
Word count: 45,000
Genre: MG
Pitch: Thirteen year old Jessie and her younger brother and sister stumble upon a strange object in their attic and are tossed into a parallel world where animals rule and humans are the Other Dwellers. When her siblings are stolen away by a flockmof marauding birds, Jessie vows to find them. From the depths of Bullae Bay to the dreaded underground tunnels of a mountain fortress, the three must rely on their imagination, tenacity and ultimately each other to survive and somehow find their way back to each other and to the attic where the mystery began.
Exerpt: “All I hear is another broken promise.” Jessie jumped out of the chair, ran down the hall and bounded up the stairs to the attic two at a time.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry,” whispered her mom. She cringed when the attic door slammed.
Jessie leaned against the attic door, willing herself not to cry.
I can’t believe Mom woul domthis to me, she thought to herself. She promised me two weeks at horse camp for my thirteenth birthday. And now she says she can’t afford it.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF (I’m assuming fantasy here with parallel worlds), though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. Your first line is attention-getting, but the voice of it feels a little adult to me…
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Title: THE SURREAL LIVES OF MAX AND SHELBY
Word Count: 43,000
Genre: MG Magical Realism
Pitch: Midnight in Paris for MG, this is the story of Max and Shelby, born in two different countries (Belgium and US) in two different eras (1924 and 2002). They meet in Brussels in 2014, both are 12 years old. Two years have passed since anyone could get in between the centuries. Two years have gone since Max’s mother passed through the café where René Magritte sold his paintings, on her way to 2012 where she worked in a vintage shop, and never returned. Shelby becomes the friend Max needs to find her, to complete his family, unknowingly completing her own.
Excerpt: CHAPTER 1: THIS IS THE DAY
Spring 2014
Monday in Cleveland
So many people cram around the airline check-in desks that I snap up my skateboard. I cradle it in my arms, turning the wheels in my palm to pass the time, or rather to spin it backwards. Bits of dirt lodged in the plastic scratch my hand. Another rotation, another week further in the past.
Grandma died peacefully in her sleep, of old age, like people should. I held her fingers and squeezed them good-bye. As if losing the one person I felt the closest to wasn’t heart-wrenching enough, my parents told me a week after the funeral that I was adopted.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m not sure if a MG audience will be as intrigued by Magritte as I am, but as a serious Midnight in Paris fan, I’d love to take a look. Could you please send the first 50 pages according to the instructions above?
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My pleasure! Thank you.
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Title: ECHOES ACROSS TIME
Word count:82k
Genre: YA Contemporary/Historical Timeslip
Pitch:
Seventeen-year-old Taylor’s on fast track, hooking up with a hot lead singer before graduation. But when Mum drags her away from Sydney’s metropolitan attractions, the haunting dreams of Anna begin.
In 1876, Anna faces drought, deprivation and a bushfire that leaves her reputation as blackened as the scrub, but finds love with handsome fellow settler, Luke.
Unable to distinguish her vivid dreams of Anna from reality, Taylor hides in the fantasy as her own life spirals out of control.
When tragedy tears Anna’s family apart, Taylor must discover if her dreams are memories, or her heart—and mind—will remain broken.
Excerpt:
In Sydney, if you choose the place carefully and wear a top cut low enough, the bouncers don’t check your ID. Just as well, as both Cassie’s and mine would reveal we’re a few months short of legal.
Rubbing sweaty palms on my short skirt, I tug at the hem as the queue shuffles toward the neon-enhanced entry. If we’re turned away at the door, we haven’t broken any laws, we won’t get arrested; yet my heart pounds with adrenalin. Fear is part of the fun.
Cassie couldn’t give a rat’s. Leaning forward, she brushes imaginary dirt from her knee, making certain the bouncers get a good view down her shirt.
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Thanks again for your pitch! The historical angle here doesn’t intrigue me as much as the contemporary, but I look forward to taking a look at your other work.
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Title: THE LONDON INCIDENT
Word Count: 56,000
Genre: Contemporary YA Mystery
Pitch:
When two men stalk sixteen-year-old Dru in London, she and her geeky love interest, Darcy, try to discover why. Turns out Dru has a flash drive they want. It lists secret government agents, including her father.
After a chase in the Tower of London and witnessing the murder of one of the men on the Eye, the teens are held captive in Dru’s hotel room. There the murderer gives them a choice, give up the flash drive or die. Not an easy decision. If Dru did give in to the killer’s demand, she’d be putting her dad’s life in danger.
Excerpt:
The sunlight peeking through the clouds made Dru’s long wavy hair glisten like flames. With a light touch she brushed the loose strands from her face. “Did you watch Sunday’s game?” she asked Andi as they walked to school. “The Red Sox won with a base-loaded walk in the ninth.”
Andi stopped texting and let out an exasperated sigh. “Dru Stone, for a sixteen-year-old girl, you’re way too obsessed with baseball.”
Dru took a step back, feeling the color in her cheeks rising. “We’ve been friends since fifth grade. You know I’m a diehard Red Sox fan. That’s not going to change.”
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Thanks for the pitch! I love a good mystery and geeky love interests. The voice here feels a bit younger than what I tend to go for, though; the first 100 words just don’t scream “teen” to me. But I wish you all the best with it.
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Title: RIGGED IDENTITY
Word Count: 85,000
Genre: YA SciFi
Pitch:
Rigg’s archaeologist mom was killed for a reason and when Rigg traces the clues, she learns an ancient robot-human truce may not be real. In fact there may be a continuing war, and it’s unclear which side she is on.
Thanks for doing this!
Excerpt:
Three caff patches were strapped to my arm to keep me upright, and he was late. “If he doesn’t show up in one minute, I’m rewiring his knowledge-implant,” I said to the decrepit warehouse next to me.
A terrified groundhog skedaddled to his hole.
“Sorry.” The sun trudged up the distant Serran mountains and everything was blue and alien and too slow. Waiting to show off this sim was torture.
Familiar rubber-soled boots squeaked up the grassy hill along with an awful lot of huffing. Trace’s mass of brown curls emerged. Overloaded with three backpacks filled until the stitching stretched, he leaned forward to catch his breath.
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Thanks for the pitch! I don’t represent SFF, though several of my colleagues (Caitie Flum, Hannah Bowman, and Caitlin Blasdell) do; you might check out their wishlists. Also, I’d love to know more about Rigg in this pitch; give me a little character in addition to plot.
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Thanks so much for the opportunity!
Title: Pretty Little Boxes
Word count: 88,000
Genre: Upmarket
Pitch
Electroshock therapy, illegal contraception, the talking dead…Welcome to mid-twentieth century suburbia where each day slams uniformly into the next. The first day of summer brings a dead dog, a retirement party made to look like Christmas and a discussion on the true meaning of the word Negro.
Trapped within the boxes—a widow with a secret, a queen bee questioning her sanity, the Negro maid wanting for more, a retiree attempting to reconnect with his family, and a young newlywed who fears her pink kitchen.
Rain arrives during a summer heat wave and becomes one of the worst hurricanes in New England history. Finally, they are forced to figure out what lies beyond their pretty little boxes.
First 100 Words
There were rules to living in a community like Crestview. In spite of these rules or perhaps because of them, the first day of summer brought a dead dog, a retirement party made to look like Christmas, and a discussion on the true meaning of the word Negro.
A burnt dinner set off the fire alarm, which the dog heard. He, not held behind a fence because the rules prevented them, ran into a wild pack of dogs untrained by owners who’d purchased them in haste, yet another prop in attaining the American dream. Fido, the name on his bone-shaped silver tag, quickly broke free of the pack roaming the neighborhood, and tore across lawns and streets.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’d definitely specify in the genre that it’s historical; I had a hard time orienting myself. I do appreciate the feminist undercurrent here, but my tastes run more to the contemporary. It’s definitely worthy subject matter, though, so I wish you the best in finding a home for it!
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• Title: Lone Girl
• Word count: 32,000
• Genre: YA adventure/verse novel
Pitch:
In this contemporary retelling of Island of the Blue Dolphins, a scheme to host a secret sleepover turns into a nightmarish adventure when 14 year-old Madeleine is left alone in a suburban town that has been mysteriously evacuated overnight. On her own and unable to communicate with the outside world, Maddie grapples with adolescence, overcomes natural disasters and wild animals, and invents clever ways to survive with her devoted Rottweiler, George. She wrestles with the meaning of life in the face of endless solitude and learns in the end that being alone is the greatest challenge of all.
Excerpt:
This is Not Adolescent Hyperbole
This is my reality.
Alone in this place
where I’ve been
surviving on my own
for almost four years
with no one but
a big, smelly
Rottweiler who farts
and hogs the covers.
(You might think
I’m exaggerating but
I’m not. I’m not just
“being dramatic.”)
I figured by the time
I turned sixteen I’d be
thinking about drivers’ ed
and being asked to prom
and AP exams
and sports
and sex
and boyfriends.
But instead
I’m thinking about
where to find food
and fuel
and water
and whether to use
Mountain Dew to force
flush the toilet or to drink
even though it’s the color
of radioactive urine
and it’s probably toxic
when ingested over
long periods of time.
Better to be radioactive
or dehydrated? These are
the questions that plague
my daily existence.
At least for now.
At least
until
my parents
come back.
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Thanks for the pitch! This is a completely subjective preference, but I just don’t gravitate towards novels in verse. There are PLENTY of other agents who feel differently, though, and I like the idea of an Island of the Blue Dolphins retelling, so I wish you luck with this.
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Title: The Passenger
Word count: 74,000
Genre: Upmarket
Pitch
Kyle, a housewife, waits for greatness to find her while she raises her husband’s children. Trevor, a thrice-divorced real estate exec, sells the American dream but has no idea how to find it. And Hal works as a copy guy in a body he stole while trying to outrun the Divine Council who want him back in his post as creator of the universe.
Set in modern day Los Angeles, three people do their best to figure out how they became passengers in their own lives. When they each hit their personal breaking point, finally coming together at a court ordered anger management/smoking cessation group, the three forge an odd friendship which includes vampire blood banks, a biker gang and the possible extinction of humanity.
First 100 Words
HAL—The copy guy
I like to make copies. The repetition is freeing. The lack of thought, the mindless creation of the similar, no discernible difference, is somehow enjoyable. I tell this to Skittles at lunch—this isn’t really his name.
“So what is your name?” I ask as we share what looks like a tuna melt, though neither of us is sure. It was half price and that supersedes the knowledge of knowing exactly what it is.
“Lloyd.”
We continue eating in silence.
“It was my father’s name,” Skittles offers as he takes another bite of the melt. What I believe to be lettuce hangs from the corner of his mouth.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think you need to better specify your genre–I was nodding along until I got to stolen body and Divine Council, and then I was just very confused. The question you’re asking with the theme interests me, but I’m afraid I keep my representation grounded in the realistic world.
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Title: OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS
Word count: 68,000
Genre: Young Adult Magical Realism
PITCH:
Accounting intern Alexis Holmes hasn’t spoken to her twin sister in years. So when Melissa calls unexpectedly, Alexis will do anything to regain her favor… even if it means assuming Melissa’s weird job as a “monster hunter” for a week.
What Alexis doesn’t expect is that monsters really exist. They’re totally homicidal, and now they’re after her. With the help of Melissa’s childhood friends, Alexis manages to stay alive while hiding her true identity. But when Melissa misses their rendezvous, Alexis realizes the job is far from over: a dangerous spell threatens to destroy the USA.
And Melissa will be the first casualty.
EXCERPT:
In retrospect, it was the corpse that saved him.
The vampire lunged, knife glinting in the dim light, aiming directly at his heart. And it would have landed perfectly, one hit KO. Except Joe’s foot slammed into the corpse, and he pitched backwards.
The knife buried deep in his shoulder instead.
Joseph crashed to the ground.
“I told you this was a bad idea!” Oliver shouted, leaping over the couch to reach his cousin. Two steps away, Melissa raised the crossbow, aimed the stake, and fired.
The vampire dodged right. The stake clattered off the exposed brick wall, useless.
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Thanks for the pitch! This feels more like paranormal or urban fantasy to me than magical realism, which I don’t typically delve into. And the tone, right down to the title, feels a bit lighter than I’d prefer (and a bit lighter than YA is currently trending). But the twin angle always has a lot of possibility. Best of luck with it!
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Thank you for your reply! I appreciate the feedback! 😀
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Title: In a Land of Monsters
W.C. 75K
Genre: Contemporary YA
Pitch: After her mother’s death, gifted photographer Samantha attempts to express her grief in dark self-portraits. Her efforts to keep her pain hidden are thwarted the day Aiden — the new boy in school – stumbles onto one of her shoots. But as their relationship deepens, Sam gradually loses more and more of the things she once thought mattered. Friendships wither, her grades slide, and she finds Aiden’s at-first subtle “suggestions” undermining her confidence in her looks, her intelligence and her talent. The harder Sam tries to remake herself into the perfect girlfriend, the more the verbal and emotional abuse escalate—until she finds the strength and courage let go of her old fears and fight to escape.
Excerpt: My mother was killed by a fish.
We were eating in the dining room at the long, mahogany table that had been my great grandmother’s and its legs were always in the way no matter where you sat. It was Formal Friday, so we were all dressed up, except my father who kept on the Dockers and polo shirt he’d worn to work.
I was a freshman in high school; Kara was just finishing middle school. We were way too old for Formal Friday, but my mother loved the elegance of it, so we did it for her.
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Thanks for the pitch! I suspect this is a little more issue-driven than I usually go for. But I love your first sentence, so I’d like to take a peek. Could you please send the first 20 pages according to the guidelines above?
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Title: SEAMUS O’ROARKE AND THE SUMMER OF SECRET SHENANIGANS
Genre: MG contemporary/mystery
Word count: 50,000
Pitch: Seamus O’Roarke has a no friend rule. If you don’t have ’em, you can’t lose ’em. But while staying with his aunt, he discovers private property with more traffic than a highway, a neighborhood full of friends, a kleptomaniac bloodhound, and dognappers.
The thieves set Seamus up to look guilty. To clear his name, stop the thieves, and figure out how to belong, Seamus must overcome his fear of the dark, accept friends, and find the courage to tell his parents what he needs. If he can’t, he’ll be branded a crook, lose friends, and remain rootless.
First 100 words:
This was going to be the most boring summer ever.
Boring was a whole lot better than the alternative. Besides, Seamus had books, his marbles, and his lucky rabbit foot. He was too old to actually play with the marbles, which was why he used to them to mark his spots. And the lucky rabbit foot, well, he’d begun to wonder if it was really an unlucky rabbit foot.
Clinkity-clank. Seamus’s little brother, Francis, dumped thousands of Legos onto the floor of the small attic bedroom. Good thing Aunt Aiofe had gone to work, so she didn’t have to witness the dismantling of her orderly neatness.
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Thanks for the pitch! I really like the first couple sentences; I’m pulled in by the idea of a tough little kid with his defenses up. The dognapping angle doesn’t appeal to me as much, though, and the “boring summer” opener feels a bit generic. But I wish you luck finding the right agent for it!
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Thank you so much for this opportunity.
Title: Hertz Gets Fused
Word Count: 42K
Genre: MG contemporary
Pitch:
After accidentally torching his room, twelve-year-old, tech-obsessed Hertz Zindler is sentenced to a summer in no-where-Arizona with no technology, no friends and no way off the sheriff’s suspect list for a recent string of arsons.
Stuck in an Airstream trailer park for retirees with his unconventional great-grandparents, Hertz struggles to survive without his precious pixels. Then a scavenger hunt with a cash prize provides the means for Hertz to get connected. But he needs a team. Enter Fey–Hackey-sack wielding, know-it-all, Allen–hyper-active local, and Hertz can almost smell cyberspace.
Excerpt:
All planned–the perfect summer vacation–video game camp with my
best friend Ben, then I Googled fuse bypass.
Fuse: a safety device consisting of a strip of wire that melts and breaks an electric current to prevent apocalyptic electronic disasters like my phone frying, my laptop exploding, and my perfect summer vacation dying.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think there’s definitely a market for this, but I can tell just from the first snippet that the tech angle is going to be beyond my realm of expertise. Just not the best fit, but I do hope you find a great agent for it.
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TITLE: 11:11
WORD COUNT: 62,500
GENRE: YOUNG ADULT
PITCH: When Windsor High sophomore, Rylee Jones, finds a book at a swap meet, she has the chance to rectify the long-suppressed hurts of her past by sacrificing her current life and changing her destiny. The book explains the significance of number patterns and its connection between the physical and spiritual worlds; 11:11 opens a crack between the two where desires come true. Suddenly, everything Rylee has wanted–friends, love, popularity–is within reach. These new relationships put her in precarious situations causing her new world to implode. However, returning to her former life will take nothing short of a miracle.
EXCERPT: “I was ten when I saw a dead body for the first time. Can you believe it?” I hate shrinks. They diagnose you fifty different ways, but can’t figure out how to make you well without cramming a handful of pills down your throat. This guy is the fifth doctor in the last two years to try to get me to open up. Rather than be pissed about going–which I used to–I spend my insurance-approved hour pretending to try, but really just messing with his head as much as he’s messing with mine. So I always come out swinging with my best stuff.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m certainly curious about this concept, but I don’t understand it well enough from this pitch–what’s happening with this book and what exactly it’s changing. In general, I stick to realistic YA.
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Title: Deported
Word count: 60,000
Genre: Contemporary YA
Pitch: Fifteen-year old Maisie considers herself American although her parents were born in Mexico then ICE takes Dad. How can her parents be illegal? She just wants to go back to arguing with Mom over clothes instead of fake papers.
But even if it means lying to her BFF, wrecking her chance with the boy she likes, or butting heads with her activist brother, she’ll keep her family’s secret if it will keep Mom safe. It’s not until Maisie finds the courage to fight for her family that she’ll realize the truth is the only way to save them all.
Excerpt:
Dad would say I was up with the roosters that morning. I guess wandering roosters were the norm where he grew up in Mexico, but not here in New Jersey. I wanted to do something special to thank him for backing me up with Mom last night.
“Isabel, she’ll be perfectly safe. Kids go to concerts all the time,” Dad told her.
“She’ll get a contact high from all the w-e-e-d.” Mom spelled the last word as if I was a preschooler not a freshman in high school.
“It’s a Chasing Aaron concert not Woodstock,” I’d grumbled. Anyway, the closest I’d ever gotten to getting high was on my GPA.
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Thanks for the pitch! I like that you’re tackling a really relevant, important issue here. However, I think it seems a little too one-dimensionally focused on the issue in the pitch, and I’m just not sure the authentically teen voice that I look for is there. I wish you all the best with it, though; it’s such a worthy concept.
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Title: The Stalking of Hannah Marsh
WC: 75K
Genre: YA Psychological Thriller
Pitch: An aspiring ballerina falls in love on the beach, but is he her stalker? She’ll have one year to find out or end up dead, like the others.
Excerpt:
It was choosing day.
The church was packed. The eyes of the congregation were glued to the pastor, or the image of him on the big screens flanking the stage.
He clenched his hands to keep them from shaking. When he’d been younger he’d always had trouble fidgeting and this had earned him more than one warning from his mother, who worried God could not be accepted into his boyish heart unless there was utter stillness.
Next to him, a balding, middle-aged man scribbled on the sermon notes. On his other side, the cloying smell of a woman’s perfume filled his nostrils. He tuned them out, and thought of Carrie, the first girl.
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Thanks for the pitch! I can’t entirely tell what’s happening from this opening scene–you could give a bit more in your pitch. But I like ballerinas and psychological thrillers, so could you send the first 20 pages according to the guidelines above, please?
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Title: BEAUTIFUL ILLUSIONS
Word Count: 84,000
Genre: YA Fiction
Sixteen-year-old Brisa Salazar is a Balancer: Spy, distraction, illusion…assassin? Leaving behind her old life in Belilusión, Cuba, she travels to the capital city of Old Havana to be trained by the mysterious Marius and his volatile but attractive protégé, Charlie, to keep the balance of good and evil where a new struggle for power has begun. But when her mother is dragged into the middle of this political tug-of-war, Brisa risks everything to rescue her, unearthing lies about her past and discovering the horrors of which she is capable. Now she must learn how to live with them.
Excerpt:
Lights. Floating lights. How did they get them to float? They filled my eyes as Mamá and I walked down a long winding drive. Now that we were here, about to arrive at the Ceremony, I wasn’t sure I wanted to see what lay beyond the next bend. I’m not even sure I was entirely conscious. The heavy, wet, August heat helped nothing.
Other kids walked around us. Curls and lipstick. Tuxes and mirror-shined shoes. They all looked so grown up, so sophisticated. So ready. God, how could I compete with these cultured, intelligent young adults? Though I knew that they were all around my own age, sixteen, I suddenly felt foolish, like a tiny girl playing dress-up in her mother’s gown and pearls.
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Thanks for the pitch! I really like the Cuba angle, but I’m just not sure enough about what’s happening here. What genre is this exactly? What’s a balancer? Who’s struggling for power, and what are they controlling? I’m intrigued but don’t have enough specifics to commit.
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Title: Coded For Murder
Word Count: 70 000
Genre: Adult Thriller/Mystery
Pitch:
After the death of his family, Chief Inspector Derek James of the Service de police de la Ville de Montréal has accepted his physical and emotional scars and lives for the thrill of the case. With a faceless corpse hung by the river and his boss trying to kill him, he is propelled into a three-day chase among cafés, hipsters, and tech geeks. But the startup’s CEO has edge; she has edge that people in her life frequently fall off. Leaving James to decide if he’ll use coercion — exposing her as a closeted transsexual — to get what he needs.
Excerpt:
“Strung up by the river? Without a face?”
Chief Inspector Derek James of the Service de Police de la Ville de Montréal tucked his cold hands into his pockets and looked up. A rope looped over the middle branch of an oak in the urban beach park. Above him hung a body with an exposed skull, framed by sparse hair on top, ears on either side, and a wrinkly neck puckered in a noose. The face was stripped to the bone with eroded teeth set in a perpetual grin.
He circled the body several times. His eyes narrowed, his dark hair whipped in the wind, his heart pounded in his chest: the chase had begun.
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Thanks for the pitch! It started strong for me, but you lost me when you got to the CEO–I’m not sure what role she’s playing here. And I don’t think I’m on board with using a transsexual identity as a plot device like this.
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Title: Winicker
WC: 11,134
Genre: Contemporary Chapter Book
Pitch: Winicker is forced to move to France when her mother starts a new job, and she cannot find a single thing about Paris that she likes, except perhaps that her Grandma Balthazar is there with her. It rains too much, Winicker’s neighbor is Miss Irritatingly Perfect, and there is a classroom bully who makes Winicker want to jet right back to her old house in Massachusetts. When Winicker finds herself in a very scary situation, she must accept help from an unlikely source, and may finally see a silver lining behind all of those Parisian rain clouds.
Excerpt: My name is Winicker Wallace. I am eight years old, and I hate Paris. Before we moved to Paris, I wore my hair in two buns on top of my head. Now that we live here, I wear one single sad bun. That’s what Grandma Balthazar calls a protest. (A protest is when you want to show your parents how much you hate Paris. But they asked you to stop saying “I hate Paris,” especially in public. So you wear your hair in a single sad bun to remind them without getting yelled at.)
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Thanks for the pitch! I do love Paris, but I don’t rep chapter books. Best of luck!
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Title: The Ghost and Mrs. Miller
Word Count: 90,000
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Pitch: Libby Miller never expected to celebrate her nineteenth wedding anniversary with a ghost. Or catch her husband Neil cheating or his BMW flipping over an overpass or his ghost showing up in her dining room. But Libby can’t grieve or forgive because Neil won’t leave. When Libby volunteers to serve on her high school reunion committee, two men from her past want a second chance. Fate’s blows land Libby alone and in the path of danger; yet her struggles help her rediscover friendships and passion and forgiveness. Now, she must find the courage to build a new life and convince Neil to crossover.
Excerpt: I’d colored inside the lines my whole life. Like any good Southern girl growing up in the Bible Belt, I knew lines, and I knew rules. And I knew what happened to girls who didn’t. So I painted my canvas with broad bands of color and only rarely ventured close enough to smudge the lines. Which was close enough to discover that Fate’s coloring book has no lines.
The night of my nineteenth anniversary, Fate sat cozied up in the passenger seat, and I turned at the lighted road marker onto Magnolia Avenue.
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Thanks for the pitch! I really like your opening lines here; I hope you find the perfect agent. Unfortunately, ghosts just aren’t for me–but it is an intriguing concept. Good luck with it!
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Title: IF ONE OF THEM IS DEAD
Word count: 50,000
Genre: YA Contemporary
Pitch:
After a hookup disaster, Melissa needs to get out of Valley Pines, but first she wants revenge.
When her bestie Jack suggests they create an app named “Chaos” to expose everyone’s secrets, she’s game.
“Chaos” goes viral.
But Melissa doesn’t expect Jack to get revenge on the wrong person and is surprised to find herself concerned for an innocent girl. She pushes Jack to reconsider, but he snaps.
Now, Melissa has to stop Jack before she ends up with handcuffs as a graduation present, looking at Valley Pines from behind bars instead of through a rear view mirror.
Excerpt:
In high school there are girls who are gods. They command everyone’s attention with a swish of a skirt and a pout of the lips. My little sister, Stephanie, is one of those girls. So are her friends. Pay attention, they say. Look at me. You don’t want to cross these girls when they’re angry. These girls will key your car, sext your boyfriend, and pour Diet Coke in your locker. Only diet, they’re not like you—you fatass. No one knows, but I’m above all of these girls—I know all of their secrets. I know who spiked the punch at the last school-sponsored event, whose mom is an alcoholic, and who cheated on their last history test.
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Thanks for the pitch! I’m intrigued by the voice here and the darkness of the concept. Could you send the first 20 pages according to the above guidelines, please?
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Title: The Forgotten Proposal
Word count: 80,000
Genre: Women’s fiction
WHAT ALICE FORGOT meets IF I STAY
The morning after getting engaged, Alexa is involved in a horrific car accident. She wakes from a coma, confused to find a ring on her finger and she can’t believe the gorgeous man is her fiancé.
David put his life on hold to help her recover but soon he has to move across the country for his job. Since she can’t remember him, she must give back the ring and let him go. When they meet one year later, her memories return but it may be too late for a second chance at love.
Excerpt:
Alexa walked past the bathroom and stopped to listen to her roommate singing in the shower. “She wore a teeny weeny itsy bitsy purple polka dot bikini on the fourth of July.” The song was from a yogurt commercial and it didn’t surprise her that the lyrics were completely wrong. It was typical of her friend to confuse words and expressions.
Roxanne emerged from the bathroom in her pink terry robe and sashayed down the hall while crooning into her hairbrush, belting out the song even louder. Alexa laughed. “Thanks a lot. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.”
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Thanks for the pitch! I do think this concept has been done a few times, but there’s also a reason that it’s of perennial interest. I’d like to look at your take on it–could you send the first 20 pages according to the above guidelines, please?
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Name: Lise J Freeman
Title: TIN CANS
Word Count: 77000
Genre: Women’s Commercial Fiction
Pitch:
Lana needs to make a decision; her mobile home sales business seems to be headed into the red, how does she turn it around? The bigger question is does she really want to? She worries about the welfare of employees. They are down -right whacky, but they are her whacky crew, even the guy with the wooden leg. If she decides to close down, how will they survive? Who would hire them? And then there’s her family, they already thinks she is unstable. She could just marry her anal retentive ex… not. Another martini may just be the best answer.
Excerpt:
Anxiously, I push the “up” button on the elevator, the door slides open, gingerly I step inside. WHOOOOOOSH! Off we rocket, not up but sideways, ever faster, reverse and plummet into the garage, then burst outside into the daylight. Where the hell are we going! What the H E double hockey sticks is going on? I just want to go the 5th floor; lingerie, pajamas, swimsuits. OH MY GOD! Shooting out through the roof, we peak then start to fall, plummeting faster and faster… Jolting upright in bed, now fully awake, I wipe the sweat dripping off my forehead.
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Thanks for the pitch! This has the potential to be a lot of fun, but it lacks the dash of subversion I really like in women’s fiction. This sort of book depends on loving the protagonist, so I’d give a bit more Lana in the pitch.
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Thank you so much for this opportunity, Jennifer and Heather.
Title: Star Meets Girl
Word count: 52,400
Genre: Upper MG/Young Adult Fiction
Pitch:
After nine years of using Haven Rose as her “stage” name, Sarah Carlevaro doesn’t even consciously answer to her real name any more. Since the moment she booked her first commercial at the age of four, she has been in front of the camera. Now a sitcom star, Sarah is offered a million-dollar deal to be the spokesperson for a fast food chain. To the anger of her mother, agent, and manager, the new vegetarian refuses. More than that, the 13-year-old announces she’s quitting Hollywood to go live a normal life with her dad in Alabama. It’s there that the real adventure of her life begins.
Excerpt:
“What do you think you are doing?” the director yelled.
Haven stopped in her tracks. She had dared to play with a 12-year-old girl who was working as an extra on the set. They had been running around, playing make believe, and laughing.
“It’s my fault,” confessed her new friend.
“No, it’s not. I invited Karen to play a game…”
“You sprained that ankle last month. Do you want to hold up production again? Don’t go running around here.”
That was all the director said, so they thought that was the end of it. After lunch, though, Haven couldn’t find Karen anywhere.
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Thanks for the pitch! I think this has to be MG with the age. But I have a soft spot for Hollywood books, so I’d like to take a look. Could you send the first 20 pages according to the above guidelines, please?
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